Ruby's Final Moment

I haven't even had much time to process it yet, much less blog about it, but my mom lost her courageous battle with cancer on Friday. We are still in shock and already miss her like crazy. We're overwhelmed by the love and support people are showing us. My mom was a special lady and will be missed. The following is an email her longtime friend Janie Cortez wrote. It's a beautiful and honest tribute to my mom and I wanted to share it with everyone.

Hello everyone.  I have some sad news.  My Good Friend Ruby Herber died Friday Jan. 21, 2011 at 2:15 in the morning.

I talked to her on Wednesday afternoon.  Her words were "I am back."  She had gotten real sick during the weekend with pneumonia but since the tumors on her lungs had grown so much they could not tell.  My lovely friend was always so hopeful.  When she called me on Wednesday, she said she was eating really good and her daughter Jill was going to fix her steak for supper. 

Then on Thursday morning, I checked my phone and Jill and Jenn, her daughters, had called me to tell me Ruby was in the emergency room at the hospital and they were not sure she would make it this time.  I put on some clothes and drove like a crazy to Scott & White in Round Rock, hoping to talk to her again one more time. I prayed all the way there.  I thank God she could still talk to me when I ran in the emergency room.  I was crying out loud at her bedside and she said, "It’s ok, I am ready.”  I told her that she had taught me so much and she said, “No, you have taught me.”  What I wanted to say was that she taught me so much about her Faith in God, even in all the suffering she had experienced.  She was always reading her Bible and sharing her findings. 

I met Ruby when she came to work at Teacher Retirement sometime in the 70s.  We were both married with children (babies).  She was such a genuine person, so full of love and joy and everyday was an adventure for us.  I would see her at break time, both morning and afternoon and lunch.  We would talk about our children and husbands and life itself.  We became such good friends in the difficult times and the good times. Some of the difficult times were when we lost our parents and when Ruby went in search of her birth mother. Ruby was adopted as a small child.  There was also Ruby's divorce from David. I also spent the day with her when David died of cancer about four years ago.  Now these are the times when we knew we were like sisters.  We never cared about the color of our skin but the love that we had for each other.  My sisters would tease me and tell me that Ruby was not my sister.  I talk to them about her all the time. 

Because I am such a serious person at times, I was drawn to Ruby for a friend.  She was always so full of adventure.  Sometimes I did not want to tell my husband Andrew of the crazy things we talked about and the adventures we planned.  A week after Ruby's dad died, we drove to Fort Collins, Colorado to visit my daughter Andrea.  Andrea took us hiking in the snow-covered mountains and I remember Ruby started sliding down the mountain.  I kept telling her to look out for the trees but she would head for each tree and hold on from tree to tree.  We laughed so much afterwards.  On that same trip Andrea took us to a music concert and Ruby bought a huge black hat for the concert.  I have no idea why.  And she wore it to the concert and probably blocked the view for a couple of people behind us.  We laughed about that too.  We were always laughing.  It did not matter how foolish we looked.  I remember all the times we would just meet for breakfast on Saturday morning.  We would sit there and talk for at least 2 or 3 hours.  We would try to meet up once a month but most of the time it was two or three months. 

Ruby gave me a little pillow for my birthday, which has written on it:

Strong Women: May we know them,

may we raise them,

may we be them.

Ruby you were a strong woman, we raised two strong daughters each (and you also raised a strong son), and because of you I will try to be a strong woman now that you have left me.