Free Fajitas on Wednesdays!

This is sad. When I logged onto statesman.com today, the first thing I saw was this picture. What I noticed first was the “free fajitas...Wednesdays…” I thought, “Yay! Today is Wednesday and I’m broke! Where is this place?” That’s when I noticed the police tape and cop cars and realized it was a strip club! Oops. Since someone was fatally stabbed there earlier today, I think I'll skip it.

It Happened at McDonald’s

I’ve decided that I have lots of funny stories that happen at fast food restaurants. I wonder what this says about me? Oh, I think it means I eat that crap too much and it’s the Universe’s way of reminding me that I don’t need to be there!

One of my favorite memories with my dad was one time when he and I were out car shopping all day. We decided to stop at McDonald’s for lunch and I wasn’t that hungry, so I ordered a Cheeseburger Happy Meal. The clerk, who could not have been more than 15 years old, then asked me the inevitable question, “Do you need a toy for a boy or a toy for a girl?”

“Oh it’s for me, so I don’t really need a toy,” I said.

Her eyes grew wide as she said, “But it comes with a toy.”

“Oh I know, but I don’t need one, so you can just save it for a kid.”

She repeated, “But it comes with a toy,” as she frantically searched the keypad for the “happy meal without a toy button.”

At this point I look over at my dad, who is snickering. I was so frustrated with her, but I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. Somehow I managed to tell her that a toy for a boy was ok.

Another McDonald’s story
Back in like the year 2000, my sister Jill and I decided to take a trip to Las Vegas. Well, we started out there, but decided after a few days to rent a car and drive to Los Angeles because neither one of us had ever been there. It was very impulsive for me – I like to have plans and an itinerary. Jill, not so much. So with no hotel reservations or any plans, we just looked at a map and drove until we got to the ocean. That eventually landed us in Santa Monica and we had a blast. We had to evacuate our hotel because of an arson fire next door one night and had a couple of brushes with celebrity, but that’s another story.

On our way to LA, we stopped in Rancho Cucamonga, California at the McDonald’s for lunch. As we were eating, a man came in and started yelling profanities. It was like he had Turret’s Syndrome or something. I think he was yelling in both English and another language, maybe Portuguese. The staff seemed to know him and be used to him, so at first I wasn’t worried. But he kept moving closer towards our table and we decided to leave. I remember severely scratching my leg on some dry, desert bush in the parking lot on my way back to the car. But we were just glad to be out of that McDonald’s!

Jesus really does want us to lose weight

I don't really see it, but apparently these women see Jesus in the ceiling at their weight loss clinic. Hmmm...

Welcome...and...Love that chicken at Popeye's

Welcome to Jennericgirl's first official blog...from my shiny new iMac! That's right, I finally updated from my 8 year old PC. I have some blogs saved from the last couple of years that I've posted in other places, like MySpace, so while I'm getting the blog started, I'll share some of them with you. Below is one of my favorites, "Love that chicken at Popeye's," which I wrote shortly after joining Weight Watchers. Enjoy!

Love that Chicken at Popeye’s…

So I decided to eat lunch at my desk today, thinking that I had a Smart Ones meal in the fridge here at work. Turns out I only had a package of Brussels sprouts, which were yummy, but I was still hungry. So about 1:30 I set out to get a nice, healthy, Weight Watchers points-friendly sandwich from Thundercloud. But my car turned in the direction of Popeye’s instead…I’d been craving chicken strips and gravy for three days, so I decided to compromise and order the “naked” strips and green beans.

As I pulled up to the board to order, I could hear chatter from inside the restaurant coming out of the intercom. Funny, I thought…they don’t know I can hear them. I grinned. Somebody was having a good old time! Finally, the very chatty lady asked me for my order. I was feeling guilty for deciding to “cheat” and eat fast food, but hey, I thought…it’s NAKED chicken! How many calories could be in NAKED chicken for goodness sake? Trust me, it took all the will power in my body to not order the regular breaded and fried chicken strips with the red beans and rice or mashed potatoes.

When I drove up to the window to pay, I was greeted by the friendly intercom lady, who was wearing a gold, bejeweled handkerchief around her hair and sported thick, black eyeliner and gold eye shadow. She greeted me with, “Girl, that is a pretty and colorful blouse!”

I smiled and said, “Thank you.”

As she handed me my drink – iced tea, no sugar by the way – she tells me, “Cause I’m your size, ya know….that pretty shirt would fit me too. Um hum. Sure would.”

I just keep smiling, feeling a little uncomfortable now. So there goes my dream of sneaking to the Popeye’s incognito, I thought. If no one I know sees me get the fast food, I will feel better about it, I reasoned. My guilt about cheating was really sinking in.

“Do you ever go to the east side?” overly-friendly intercom lady asks.

“What? Oh, um…yeah…sometimes,” I lied, shaking my head profusely.

She looks me up and down as if she knows full well I NEVER go to the east side and I bend forward, looking into the kitchen wondering why it’s taking so long to cook NAKED chicken.

“Simply Fashions. That’s where you need to go. That’s where the big girls shop. Me and you. Uh huh…we’re the same size, girl. That’s where I shop. You ever been there?

I shake my head no, suddenly feeling very fat. How badly do I really want these chicken strips?

“Over by Fiesta? You know where that is? Well, you gotta go to Simply Fashions. I got me some $15-16 shirts there for like $5. Big girls like us go in there and they come out looking sharp, I tell ya.”

Oh God, please don’t ask me where I got my outfit or how much I paid for it. Suddenly I’m feeling very privileged – and ashamed of it. And still fat.

“And then of course there’s Rainbows,” she looks at me, seeing if I knew about the store. “You ain’t been to Rainbows? Girl, you gotta go there. You gotta come over to the east side sometime! They got all sorts of stuff for big girls like us. I mean they got regular stuff too, but it’s all big girls that go to Rainbows, like me and you. Uh huh.” She smiled, revealing a shiny gold grill on her teeth.

Suddenly I’m feeling…well, I’m not sure what I was feeling. But now I wanted those damn chicken strips even more. And the biscuit I was going to give away or throw away and not eat? Forget it, I’m eating it.

Finally, she hands me the box of NAKED chicken strips and green beans and tells me something like, “Now you gotta come back again, girl.”

“Thanks…I will," I muttered, thinking to myself that I’ll never visit Popeye’s again. Ever.

So now I know why they call it Weight Watchers…Ok, I get it. Not supposed to eat fast food. Or maybe I just need to watch out for over-friendly intercom lady.