Stupid is as stupid does

OMG. This 29 year-old guy just can't figure out how he ended up with 21 kids with 11 women. It's called stupidity, dude. Somebody buy the man some condoms, please. And wake up, women of Tennessee...do not have sex with this man!

Jay Leno is a class act

Jay Leno is a class act. He ended his run on the Tonight Show highlighting some of what he's done over the years, invited James Taylor to sing & had his replacement, Conan O'Brien stop by. But what most impressed me was how he wants the legacy of his show to be about the families who were formed during the show -- he gathered the children of all his staff members who met, fell in love and had kids over the years...and that's how he signed off. Very cool. You rock, Jay Leno.

Finally! An answer to why the chicken crossed the road!

Donuts, of course!

I'm editing songs now...Oy vey!

So today while driving in my car, I hear the song, “I Need A Lover” and catch myself singing along to it. I guess I’ve never really listened to the words before. First I noticed that it’s grammatically incorrect and says, “I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy,” instead of “I need a lover who won’t drive me crazy.” I chalked that up to just being a grammar nerd.

Then I realize he’s singing, “Some girl that knows the meaning of, ah-Hey hit the highway!” What?!?!? Did some of the guys I’ve dated lately write this song? Nope, it was written by none other than John Cougar Mellencamp – in 1979! The lyrics get better…he goes on to say, “Some girl who’ll thrill me and then go away!”

So what I learned from this song is that apparently men don’t care about grammar – at least not while writing music – and pretty much have always been this way! Sigh…..

I Need A Lover lyrics
(instrumental)

I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy

Some girl that knows the meaning of, ah-Hey hit the highway!

Well I’ve been walking the streets in the evenin’

Racin’ through the human jungle at night

I’m so confused, my mind is indifferent

Hey - I’m so weak, won’t somebody shut off that light?

Electricity runs thru the video

And I watch it from this hole I call home

And all them stonies are dancin to the radio

And I got the world callin me up free tonight on the phone

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl who’ll thrill me and then go away

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-Hey hit the highway!

Well I’m not wiped out by this poolroom life I’m livin'

I’m gonna quit this job, and go to school, and head back home (head back home)

Now I’m not asking to be loved or be forgiven

Hey - I just cant face shakin' in this bedroom one more night alone

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-Hey hit the highway!

(instrumental)

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl to thrill me and then go away

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-Hey hit the highway!

You betcha.

Why it's Important to Answer Booty Calls!

The headline says it all: Man accused of stealing from woman who didn’t answer “booty call.”
This guy was determined to get something outta that booty call! Geez, this takes stupid criminal to a new level.

Change is Gonna Come

I had another dream about moving. I don't remember the details this time, other than hanging clothes in my new closet. I dreamt about moving just a few days ago and apparently dreaming about moving "signifies your desire or need for change" or that you seek independence or are ready to move on to something new. I've already mastered the being independent thing, so that can't be it. And I've had enough change in the last two years of my life to last a lifetime. But as they say, change is one of the things we can always count on. I'm not sure what changes are ahead, but I can't help but hum the great Sam Cooke song, "Change is Gonna Come."

No one at home in the Texas House

This is video posted on the Austin American-Statesman of the Texas Legislature. I realize they have long, boring days and this was over a holiday weekend, but this is just ridiculous. None of them are at their seats! No wonder nothing ever gets done. What a joke.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1494874918?bctid=24154221001

And then when they called for mandatory attendance in order to vote, watch what happens:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1494874918?bctid=24161754001

Happy Birthday to my baby brother!

I can't believe my "baby" brother is 34 today! And my sister will be 30 in September! Sure makes the older sister feel old!

Happy Birthday, brother! Love ya!

Dream a little dream

I’ve had weird dreams the last two nights. My dad was in both of them and whenever I dream about him, I don’t want to wake up. I dream about him once or twice a month and we’re always just kinda hanging out, just him and me. I guess that’s what I miss most about my dad – he made me feel comfortable and safe and knew me better than anyone. I think I dream about him when I’m under stress and need to feel safe.

Dream #1
The night before last, I dreamt that me, my sister, my brother and his girlfriend went on a trip. At the airport flying back home, we all got separated so I never saw if everyone got on the plane. We all had seats away from each other. Actually, none of us ever saw my sister at the airport and she wasn't answering her phone, so we were worried that she didn't catch the plane. (Not sure why she wasn't with us) The flight attendants would not tell me if she was on the plane. I never saw my brother and his girlfriend during the flight, but I assumed they caught the flight since I'd seen them in the airport.

At the end of the flight, everyone had to use their credit cards to check out, using a machine at the top of one of the seats in the mid section of the plane. It was weird and held everyone up. But after I stood up, I found an old credit card of my brother’s, bent and lying on the floor under my seat. Then, I looked in the seat I had just been sitting in and saw his wallet, tucked under a fold in the fabric. A flight attendant saw me pick it up and grabbed it from me and even after I showed her ID, she wouldn’t let me keep the wallet. I still didn’t see them and the plane was completely full, so I was getting worried. I tried calling all three of them but of course they hadn't turned on their phones yet. Then someone in the front part of the plane found a cell phone under a seat and it was my brother’s! Now I was really worried, but they made me de-board the plane. The airport was extremely crowded and I still could not find them. People were whizzing past me, bumping into me and yelling at me, but I was not about to budge until I found my siblings and my brother’s girlfriend. About the time I started to have a panic attack in the airport, I woke up!

What Dream #1 Means (according to the Internet) Airport - To see a busy airport in your dream signifies the desire for freedom, high ideals, ambition, and hopes. It is an indication that you are approaching a new departure in your life. Some new idea is taking off or is ready to take off. You may be experiencing a new relationship, new career path or new adventure. Lost - To dream that someone else is lost represents unresolved issues or feelings regarding the person that is lost. Consider also what aspect of that person you may have lost within your own self. Perhaps you need to recapture and re-acknowledge those aspects.

Dream #2

Last night I dreamt that my family was helping me move into this little place that was connected to a warehouse or maybe it was a storage facility. It had a gravel driveway and people would drive by to go down the road to whatever the other facility was. The location was odd, but the place was really cute. I have moving dreams every now and again and I always dream about leaving something behind. It’s usually family heirlooms and I have to go back to my maternal grandparents’ house to get it. That must mean something. Longing for the past, maybe?

Anyway, I know the entire family was there, but at the end of the day it was just dad and me. I can’t tell you how many times dad helped me move over the years, so this makes sense. We were laughing and he was teasing me like he used to about being a packrat. We were exhausted, but having a good time unpacking in my new place.

Then we decided to go get some dinner. Dad was driving the old family blue and white 1979 Chevy Blazer (we all drove it at one point) and all of a sudden while he was driving, he slumped over and lost consciousness. I struggled to grab the wheel, pull over and hit the brakes…it was extremely stressful! I immediately called 9-1-1 and drove to the ER. Once there, they whisked him away to a room. I think I called my brother and sister at this point and for some reason, they told me I should go ahead and leave the hospital. I think I had to take my mom to a doctor’s appointment or something too. When I got done with that, I called grandma and pop to see if they knew how dad was doing. Pop was crying (something I’ve never seen or heard) and grandma was at the hospital with dad. All I remember from there was getting back to the hospital and seeing grandma. Dad was still in surgery or the other room, but we couldn’t get any information from the staff. I woke up feeling very anxious, but then happy that I’d gotten to see my dad in my dream.

What Dream #2 Means (according to the Internet) To dream that you are moving away signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship and you are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence. A hospital is a place of healing. Your dream may offer you cures to improve your psychological or physical health. Observe in which department your dream is set – it may give you important clues to the nature of your problem. You may need some rest or may be trying to recover from a psychological wound that requires inner healing. Or perhaps the dream has a warning about your physical health? Does the dream offer a cure? Does it suggests a healthier behavior pattern or diet? They called Edgar Cayce ‘the sleeping prophet’ because he would fall asleep and answer questions put to him about the health of people he had never met. He gave startlingly accurate diagnoses and his revolutionary treatments and cures are still being used and researched today. Hidden within our dreams are the keys to spiritual, psychological and physical health.

Hmmm…

Don't pee on Old Faithful

I have to say, these idiots didn't get the right punishment. Would have been better if Old Faithful had awakened right at that moment and spit their pee right back on 'em!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30765586/?GT1=43001

my treadmill is so vain

So several months ago a group of us made the decision to walk in the March of Dimes March for Babies 5K. I’ve been trying to “train” for it since I am so out of shape. I’d do great for a week, then fall off, then walk once the next week, then fall off, then do great again the next week. No consistency. But at least I was trying. Suddenly, the race is upon us – it’s THIS Saturday! How did this happen?

Tonight I DID NOT want to go walk. But I did it. At five minutes in, I was ready to throw in the towel. And that’s when it happened: Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” came on shuffle on my iPod. I pictured my feet beating up the treadmill.

Before I knew it, the Bee Gees were on with “You Should Be Dancing.” I just pictured myself thin, fit and tan like Melissa Rycroft on Dancing With the Stars, dancing in a ball gown on the treadmill. I was graceful and fluid. Two things I never am.

Then my feet started hurting. “I feel the earth move under my feet,” Carole King belted out. I grinned at the irony and kept walking. Ok, that’s it, I thought…time to start winding down. Then Jon Bon Jovi belted out, “Ooh ooh livin’ on a prayer…” Who could stop during Bon Jovi? Just when I thought I couldn’t go any further, Stevie Nicks was there to help me out with “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around,” which of course made me think about my heart and how good walking was for it! Next, my future husband Lenny Kravitz stopped by to tell me he was ready for love with “Heaven Help.” On that note, I can stop, I thought. I can die a happy woman.

“Wheel in the Sky” came on next and we all know my love of all things Journey, plus I started singing “wheel of the treadmill keeps on turning…” and that made me giggle like a 12 year old.

Next up was Carly Simon with “You’re So Vain,” which I dedicated to the treadmill. I swear it looks at itself in the stupid gym mirrors while it’s tormenting me! Another Journey song, “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Hello! You can’t stop when like the best rock ballad ever is cheering you on!

No workout is complete without Prince, but when “Kiss” came on, I finally decided to slow it down and end my walk at 2.5 miles. Whew. I think I can finish the 5K on Saturday. Thank God for my iPod.