Caffeine is my shepherd

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze. It maketh me to wake in the lecture hall, it leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses. It restoreth my buzz. It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction, I will fear no decaf. For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me. Thou preparest a tall latte before me in the presence of fatigue. Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over. Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life... and I will dwell in the House of Java forever.

~Anonymous

My nephew, the model

For his 15th birthday, we arranged to have professional photos of my nephew taken. Libby Ann Johnson took these awesome pics of him that can be viewed at http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=138473&id=1243375405&l=a8a666037f.

My brother's family

I recently took some photos of my brother's family for their holiday cards. Thought I'd share my favorite one with you -- I just love the face my nephew is making while they kiss and the way the sun is backlighting them. Tee hee...

Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

Today would have been my Grandpa Doerfler’s 102nd birthday! He passed away about six years ago, but it seems like much longer. I miss him every day, he was quite the character! I recently wrote something about him, his family and the house they lived in for a Parade of Homes in Pflugerville, my hometown. Thought I’d share it with you…enjoy! Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

Bernhardt (Bernie) Otto Doerfler was born December 9, 1907 and married Minnie Sophie Wernli on July 22, 1936. They were parents to two children – Steve and Ruby – and had 10 grandchildren and numerous great grandchildren. In 1962, the Doerflers moved into their new red brick house at 301 South 5th Street in Pflugerville.

Built by a fellow Pflugerville resident, the house sat on more than two acres of plush, green land. Bernie wasted no time planting pecan and oak trees. He was also fond of concrete yard art animals and over the years, he placed statues of deer, chickens, frogs, etc. in his yard. At one point, he had a concrete water fall, a totem poll, a swing and a string of lights in his yard. Known to some as “Doerfler Park,” Bernie’s yard was his pride and joy. He knew every inch of it by heart and continued to mow it with his bright green John Deere riding lawnmower well into his 80s, even after losing his sight to macular degeneration.

Bernie was one of eight children born to John Gottlieb Doerfler and Mary Wuthrich Doerfler, who settled in Pflugerville in 1899. Bernie’s grandparents were Pastor Johann (John) Doerfler, who was born in Germany in 1844, and Salome Schwander, who was born in 1849 in France. Salome arrived in Chicago in 1873 and moved to Texas in 1875; John came to Texas in 1874 and was ordained as a Pastor in 1876. Pastor John Doerfler led the congregation at Zion Lutheran Church in Arneckeville, TX. Apparently, Pastor John and Salome met in Pflugerville while attending a church service, so Pflugerville played an important role in the John Doerfler family. They spent early years in Arneckeville, then moved on to churches in other small Texas towns – Ross Prairie, Temple, Taylor, Walburg and Bartlett. Pastor John retired and the family moved to a farm near Granger, TX. John and Salome built a house in Weir, TX in 1908; most of their children lived near the homestead in Weir, except for John and Mary (Bernie’s parents), who settled in Pflugerville.

The Doerflers were early Lutheran missionaries in Texas. Several of Bernie’s brothers were Lutheran pastors and he served as an elder at Immanuel Lutheran Church in Pflugerville for years. Bernie could recite Bible verses, word for word, and taught himself to play Lutheran hymns on an organ when he was in his 70s. Bernie attended Texas Lutheran College in Seguin and coached the women’s basketball team after graduation.

After marrying Minnie, they settled in Pflugerville, and Bernie worked as a Texaco consignee for over 40 years. He operated three Texaco stations in the Austin area, including one at the corner of Pecan and Railroad in Pflugerville, currently the site of a Shell gas station. Minnie worked as a bookkeeper at the Pflugerville Texaco,until taking a job with the Texas Comptroller’s Office. The Doerflers even named their dog “Tex,” and called him a Texaco mascot.

After retiring from Texaco, Bernie worked as a Bailiff in the 261st District Court at the Travis County Courthouse. He retired in his 80s because Minnie’s health had declined and he needed to be home to care for her. Minnie passed away in November 1993. They were married for 57 years.

Bernie continued to live by himself in his home until the last three years of his life. Caregivers were hired, but eventually his daughter Ruby retired from the state herself and moved in with him, caring for him until his death in April 2003 at the age of 95.

Watching the Little White Dog

This week I am house and dog sitting this sweet Little White Dog. She’s a cutie, but I must say, can be a handful! She came with two pages of instructions…no joke! I worried maybe it would turn into a Marley & Me scene, but it hasn’t been quite that bad…yet. The first day, the poor thing was still scared and unsure of me. Ironically, I found Marley & Me on HBO…about that time, the Little White Dog climbed up on the chair and curled up with me. Awe. Day Two: On our morning walk, we saw two other dogs approaching with their owners. “Now what did those instructions say to do again,” I thought as I tried to restrain her from lunging at the much larger dogs. I then bent down to pick her up…and immediately remembered the notes. She bites! No worries, I carry Neosporin & band-aids with me, so all is well. Then last night, I stepped out of the living room for a few minutes and could hear the little white dog playing with something. When I walked back into the room, I saw the contents of my purse strewn all around the living room! The dog looked up at me like, “What did you expect me to do when you left your purse where I could reach it?” I gasped, said, “Bad doggie” and started picking up the pieces…ha. Her owners warned me! Stay tuned for more dog sitting tales….

Pink

Pink was the "new black" a few years ago, but it's still my favorite color. As a kid, my parents could not get me to wear pink for anything, but now, I could wear it everyday, easily. Last week while battling a nasty stomach bug, I also contracted pink eye! Bleh. Pink does NOT look good in my eye, nor does it feel good. Thank God for pink eye medicine, that's all I'm sayin'. I took this picture of my poor little eyes on day two of pink eye.

We raced for the Cure

Last Friday we found out that my mom's breast cancer is back. This time in her lungs. Two days later, we walked in the Race for the Cure on a team named in her honor, Uby's Boobies. I have so many emotions and fears running through me right now, but I'd rather focus on the positive and fun experience we all had at the Race. I think it boosted mom's spirits...and I hope it will help her fight Round 2 with as much strength and grace as she did last time. Love you, momma.

Rainbows in the Clouds

“God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us – in the dreariest and most dreaded moments – can see a possibility of hope.” – Maya Angelou

I can't sleep on a Saturday night because I have either really bad allergies or the beginnings of a cold. So I logged onto Twitter. I noticed that "Maya Angelou" was a trending topic and gasped. No, no, no! Please don't tell me that something has happened to my beloved Maya Angelou! I immediately went into super search mode and discovered that she was taken to the hospital for unknown reasons sometime on Saturday. I also found some tweets that say she is ok, but you never know what to believe. So my thoughts & prayers are with Maya Angelou…I pray that she will be ok. And I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to see her speak in person at my alma mater, West Texas A&M University, about six months ago.

I was so moved by her words, but surprisingly, I don’t think I ever wrote about the experience. Maya talked about the importance of finding “rainbows in the clouds.” She marveled at how just a few years ago, she would not have even been allowed to attend a school like WT and now here they were, inviting her to be their honored guest. Then she said, “This University is a rainbow in the clouds.” That’s when my tears started flowing. I don’t think they stopped the entire time she spoke. Her words were just so eloquent, so profound…and Maya just glows on stage. She IS greatness. We are all truly blessed by her presence here on Earth. SHE is a rainbow in the clouds.

- - -

Yesterday my mom had a CT scan because she has completed all of her chemo and radiation and has done well after mastectomy surgery. About 7pm, she received a call from her oncologist, telling her that they found nodules on her lungs. Crap, crap, crap. He said that it could be simply inflammation, but it could also be cancer again. Next week she will undergo a PET scan and maybe a biopsy. My first reaction was extreme anger at cancer and total and complete fear. I REFUSE to lose another parent to cancer. This is NOT cancer. It can’t be. I’m still scared out of my mind, but I’ve steeled myself for the fight, whatever it entails. And I’m keeping my eye out for rainbows in the clouds.

Front Row Seats

As I sit here watching Steel Magnolias for about the millionth time and the sad part is making me cry for the millionth time, my heart is also aching for a dear friend of mine. Her dad, who was battling lung cancer, passed away yesterday.

It's bringing back a flood of memories for me. I can still remember the emotions of losing my own dad, also to lung cancer, about two and a half years ago. We both watched our fathers fight the disease bravely, for a long time. We watched them suffer. We watched their bodies transform from healthy, strong men to sickly and weak. Unfortunately, we saw them suffer. And it's something you never forget. I wish more than anything that I could take away the feelings I know she's going through right now. I wish no one ever had to feel the loss of a parent - or any loved one, for that matter. But we all have to do it.

I don't know how it all works, but ever since my grandma died in 1993, I've pictured her on the welcoming committee in Heaven, planning the arrival parties and greeting newcomers. I know that sounds silly, but it's truly how I picture it. That, and all of your family and friends who passed before you are there to greet you. Today, I pictured my dad there, to welcome my friend's dad, even though I'm not sure they ever met in person. But I'm positive he was there, to tell him thank you for being a good dad to his daughter who became my friend. For the longest time after my dad died, I pictured him as a kid in Heaven, running around, showing God and the angels how fast he could run. I saw him organizing baseball games and track meets. But after awhile, that feeling left me. Now I simply feel a comforting presence of my dad when I think of him. I know that he is up there watching over all of us. And now my friend's dad is too. They have front row seats to our lives and will be with us forever.

Reminiscing the High Spots

A few years after my Grandpa D passed away, my mom made the decision to move out of his house. (She had lived there with him the last few years of his life, caring for him.) When we packed up the house, we found this letter that I've typed in below that Grandpa had written to Grandma at some point. I wish it was dated. Judging by his handwriting, it was written before I was born. So it’s old. ;)

We were all so fortunate to have had him in our lives for so long. Grandpa lived to be 95 years old, surviving many years after grandma passed away. They were married for 57 years when grandma died. She was the love of his life. Grandpa was one of the greatest characters I’ve ever known. (Actually all of my grandparents are great characters!) He was short and probably weighed 120 pounds at his heaviest, but he had a very big presence. He worked for Texaco well into his senior years, then became a Bailiff at the Travis County courthouse, working until Glaucoma took his eyesight at about the age of 88.

He was known for his one acre, meticulously cared for, plush green yard and was a notorious flirt. But he was also a very religious man – he could tell you where to find any verse in the Bible. He prayed every single night (out loud) and always included people most of us would be cursing rather than praying for. Instead of saying “thank you,” he would say, “bless you.” And he would say it to everyone. So I guess it shouldn’t be that surprising that this letter he wrote is so sappy. I have to say that if I received a letter like this from a man in today’s world, I would roll my eyes and ask him what his real motive was. It’s sad, but true. People don’t write letters anymore. It’s a lost art. So, to celebrate Grandma & Grandpa’s love and the art of writing letters, here it is:

Dearest:

After reminiscing the high spots of this last year, I find there is only one outstanding fact, (that’s you). I’ve found my happiness in you; and now at Christmastime I feel like I ought to do everything a man can do, for you. However I have chosen the shortest and most pleasant method of showing my appreciation and affection. Dearest, this little gift, I call it little because I’m comparing my love for you to this gift and I find the gift short. Therefore increase its quantity billions and billions of times and you have only a fifth of my love for you.

Now let me add that this gift isn’t how I value your Love either because no gift can recompense your love but let this be a slight indication of how I value your Love and Minnie Dearest, I pray God that our Love shall ever increase, never die, and that we shall grow to a more Devine, and more human understanding. May God give us happiness forever.

Dearest I hope you will be able to use this traveling case occasionally and that you may benefit by possessing it. I give you this with all my Love.

Affectionately yours forever,
Bernie

It's a sign!

Spotted a sign this week that cracked me up, mostly because I am going to start Weight Watchers again on Monday. Ugh. As anyone who has done it knows, trying to lose weight...well, it just sucks. It's hard. And if you're like me and have like 100 lbs to lose, it just seems so unattainable. So when I saw this sign, it cheered me up for a moment. Then reality sunk in again. Sigh.

Dog Sitting Round 2

I spent part of this week dog sitting too -- this time for my mom & sister who were out of town for a few days. Cali, the Alpha dog, is a rat terrier who loves the sound of her voice. Hero is a 90 lb. Dalmation who lives up to his name because he is the one who brought my mom's attention to her breast cancer. These dogs are spoiled to say the least. All animals in our family are spoiled! (Although my little Bridget is feeling a little neglected since I've been dog sitting so much lately.) Anyway, I had a good couple days with Hero & Cali, except for one pretty rough thunderstorm that spooked them. I woke up the next morning with both dogs huddled as close to me as possible. There's something so cute about when dogs use pillows just like humans. Took these with my phone, so they're not the greatest.

It's so hard to say goodbye...

Well, my dog & cat sitting duties ended today and I found it hard to leave the little black dog. For whatever reason, I have really bonded with Dexter. Course he's a happy dog and seems to love everybody, but I know that he thinks I'm special too. :) I survived the week and enjoyed snuggling with Dexter at night...except for last night, when he just DID NOT want to sleep! Dexter & Carter both said goodbye to me when I left, but Abby kept her distance. It was so cute! I'm back home now and my own little gray & white cat, Bridget, is sooooo happy to see me. And I'm happy to see her too.

It's my last night dog sitting and the little black dog doesn't want to sleep. Do you think he knows?

Girls can rock!

Last night I was lucky enough to see The Donnas, Blondie & Pat Benatar concert here in Austin with my friend Robin. I can't even remember the last concert I went to, so I was excited. We had a great time! Pat Benatar was awesome & hasn't aged a day! Here are some really bad pics from my camera phone.

Veggie Bouquet

Check out the veggie bouquet my sister and my mom made to take into mom's office! Broccoli, cauliflower, alfalfa sprouts, carrots, celery, cucumbers, radishes, olives, tomatoes and yellow bell peppers. Yum! And guess what? They gave me some of the leftovers! Woo hoo!

Adventures in dog & cat sitting continued...

Well, I've had some much-appreciated (and much-needed) help from Aunt Becky the last few days. She loves dogs and is really good with them, so she's been coming over to play with the little black dog and walk him. On one of her walks after he did his business, Aunt Becky saw what she thought looked like worms. Ack! So, being the wonderful woman she is, she called his vet and took him in today to get a shot and a pill to kill any fleas he might have on him. A big thank you to Aunt Becky for taking care of Dexter (and the rest of us, really) so well! :)

The cats are still really nervous and acting like they're starving to death. Last night, I caught them digging in the kitchen trash! With their parents' permission, I bought them some dry food to put in their self feeder...boy did they gobble that up! Happy kitties. Er, a little happier, anyway.

Tomorrow night, Aunt Becky and my sister are taking turns watching the little black dog & the kitties because I am going to the Pat Benatar & Blondie concert! Woo hoo! I feel a little guilty and like I'm shirking my sitting responsibilities...na, I'm over it. I am simply sharing the joy of hanging out with these adorable animals with others, right? ;)

Meanwhile, I am spending about an hour at my own place, to give MY kitty some love. She's used me being gone all the time and very independent, thankfully, but I still feel bad. Signing off now to pet her...

Sweet Doggy

Is that a smile on his face? Probably dreaming about pouncing on cats!

Too tired to blog

This dog & cat sitting thing is wearing me out. I didn't realize how easy I have it with just a fat, 15-year-old cat at home. She might be grouchy, but she is very low-maintenance. Tonight Dexter just wanted to play, play, play. He constantly pounces on Carter, the black cat, who finally took refuge in the laundry hamper. Abby pretty much stays to herself, but came downstairs tonight to lounge.

Adventures in Dog Sitting...Day One

Well, day one of dog sitting (and cat sitting) is over and the little black dog is finally asleep. At 2am. It hasn't been too bad -- I've only cleaned up one mess, chased one cat when it ran out the front door and learned that the little black dog doesn't like to sleep or even nap anywhere but his mom & dad's bed. We played with the laser pointer for a long time...hours of fun for the animals! Wish me luck, I'm already exhausted. Only 6 more days to go!

Adventures in dog sitting...

Ok, wish me luck friends. I'll be dog sitting my brother's little black dog, Dexter, all week while they are on vacation. He's still very much a puppy, so he'll keep me on my toes, I'm sure. I'll try to blog about my adventures in dog sitting. :)

I heart flash mobs

I may be slow, but I'm just now learning to appreciate the beauty of the flash mob. What is a flash mob, you ask? You've probably seen the You Tube videos -- it's where large groups of people in public places like train stations or Times Square suddenly burst out into dance and a song is played over the PA system. I think the first video I saw was The Sound of Music. Anyway, I never knew what these little performances were called until very recently, so I wanted to share my favorite with you: it's a scene from one of my favorite shows, Weeds. Ok, I know this one was choreographed professionally, but it's still my fave. :)

All because two people fell in love...

I love this story that ran on NBC last night and this morning about the iconic Woodstock couple featured on the soundtrack album from Woodstock.

Maybe it was the Conga Line

Ever since we debarked from our first cruise, I’ve felt like I’m still on the ship – I have this constant sense of motion, like I’m swaying back and forth. After about four days, I got a little worried and looked it up. Apparently, there’s a condition called mal de debarquement that some people get. It can last three weeks or three years…or never go away! I was panicked. It was making me a nervous wreck. My co-workers & friends laughed at me and said things like, “You haven’t gotten your sea legs back!” Ha. I don’t want sea legs! I want land legs and now! It got so bad last Friday that I had to leave work early – I even felt it while I was driving…eek!

The last three days have been much better. The only time I still feel that way now is when I’m taking a shower, brushing my teeth or using the restroom. (I guess anytime I’m using water!) It could be dangerous since sometimes I feel like I might fall over, but oh well. Overall, I had a great time with Jill & Julie on the cruise…we always have a good time. I’m not sure it’s my preferred method of travel, but at least I tried it.

I alluded to this in an earlier post about the cruise, but thought I’d elaborate. I managed to control motion sickness on the ship, but on our excursion in Cozumel, all bets were off. First of all, those prescription patches that are supposedly waterproof are no match for my sweat! Mine kept coming off and I’d find it on my shirt, on my pants and reapply it. I guess I should have known it wouldn’t be as effective after that. When we docked in Cozumel, we were amazed at how blue the water looked. I was actually looking forward to spending an entire day in the hot sun wearing my bathing suit and cover up. If you know me, you know that would normally be a day in hell for me. But I was looking forward to snorkeling and walking around the shops in the city. I remember snapping some pictures on the little catamaran on our way to snorkel and then all of a sudden starting to feel sick. Really sick. Like I’m not gonna make it to the little restroom downstairs sick. I think someone brought me some soda and the sugary taste just made it worse. Finally, the boat stopped moving and everyone said I’d feel better in the water. Well, I’d never snorkeled before and never even worn flippers before, so I was a little nervous. To top it off, there were like 80 of us on the boat, all swimming in this sectioned off area in the middle of the Caribbean Sea. As Jill said, it felt like a rescue situation. Initially, getting in the water did feel nice. And then I put my mask on and tried to snorkel. That’s when I got sick and “fed the fish” – let’s just say fish like eggs benedict. I tried to stay away from the others as I continued to get sick in the ocean, but I guess they were following the fish…and the fish were following me! I eventually gave up and one of the divers swam me back into the catamaran. A few minutes later, Jill followed. She “fed the fish” too! I guess we’re just not ocean people. Julie had a great time, though.

The boat then took us to a private island with hammocks, beach chairs, water floats, kayaks, all sorts of fun or relaxing stuff. I would have been happy with the beach. But just about the time I started feeling better, we were loaded back onto the catamaran and they sped back to the pier. Immediate nausea. I just laid down on one of the benches, blocking my face with my “Dude, It’s Not That Hard” fan from work. Got a sunburn on the underside of my arm from that trip.

And the last thing I wanted to feel on our ride back was the “rhythm of the island!” Ahh yes, the other passengers giddy from their nausea-free, glorious day of fun in the sun snorkeling, swimming and drinking margaritas, began a festival of line dancing, loud music…and a conga line. You might think a conga line would cheer anyone up, but let me tell you, that was the last thing I needed. I vaguely remember peering out from under my fan and seeing the conga line – from the chest to the knees only – dance by. I think I looked up at Julie & Jill and threatened to harm the conga-ers at that point. It’s a miracle I didn’t get sick again on that boat, but somehow I made it back to land. And what did I do? I walked back to the comforts of the big ship and crashed in our little cabin, R98, for about four hours. Secretly, that might have been the best part of our trip. ;)

The rest of my pics from Cozumel

Watch the slideshow here.

My first cruise

I just returned from my first ever cruise! Me, my sister and our friend Julie went on a 4-day cruise to Cozumel. I learned that me & big boats are ok, but me & little boats is NOT a good mix. I got sick, sick, sick on our snorkeling excursion in the Caribbean Sea. Jill got sick shortly after I did. But Julie was fine and really enjoyed it, thankfully! I never even got to snorkel, but Jill and I did "feed the fish" so to speak. I was really bummed because the water was crystal blue and absolutely gorgeous.

Here are just a few pictures from our trip. More to come.

The Lido deck - pool, hot tub, 24-hour buffet, etc.

View from the ship...look at that blue water!

Our ship, The Fantasy, next to another ship, The Ecstacy, while docked in Cozumel.

Hammocks on the beautiful beach we spent a little time on in Cozumel.

My mom, the rock star continued

Quick update on my mom for those who follow my blog. She is doing really well. It's been a week and two days since her mastectomy and she hasn't taken pain meds for days. She's up moving around, sweeping, loading & unloading the dishwasher, even watering plants outside. She tires easily, but that's to be expected. Her hair is growing like crazy and it's coming in this beautiful, shiny white color. She seems to be healing nicely and she has a great attitude. God must pick people carefully to give the challenge of breast cancer because she has been such a trouper! I had no idea she had this kind of strength in her. I knew she was an awesome mom, but seriously, she is amazing! I pray that I have half her strength if I ever need it.

RIP, Walter Cronkite

I wasn't even alive when iconic news man Walter Cronkite interrupted "my" soap opera, As The World Turns, to tell the nation that President Kennedy had died. But that grainy, black & white video is the first thing I think of when I hear the name Cronkite. Maybe it's because of my journalism background. A requirement of sorts. He was once named "the most trusted man in America," in a time when we still trusted journalists. The way the profession has changed almost made me completely switch majors. But I held on. I believed that there were still good stories to tell. And that there are still reputable, professional journalists out there. I now work in public relations and it's true. I work with lots of journalists and most of them are salt of the earth, hard-working news hounds. I love working with them, actually. Turns out the hardest part of my job is convincing other people that not all journalists are bad. I doubt PR people ever had to do that in Walter Cronkite's day. RIP, Walter Cronkite. We already miss you.

We Had Him

I love Maya Angelou and in late April, I was lucky enough to hear her speak in person at my alma mater, West Texas A&M University in Canyon, Texas. I haven't blogged about the experience yet...I guess I'm waiting until I have time to perfect what I want to say. Angelou's words almost always move me to tears. The poem that she wrote memorializing Michael Jackson was no different. It reminded me how fragile life is and although written specifically for Michael Jackson, it made me think about my dad and my grandparents. We are all here on loan. I feel so lucky to have had my loved ones -- and for that matter, icons like Michael Jackson and Maya Angelou -- in my life, even if in a small way.

Here is the text of "We Had Him" and a video of Queen Latifah reading it at the memorial service:

We Had Him
by Dr. Maya Angelou

Beloveds, now we know that we know nothing,

now that our bright and shining star can slip away from our fingertips like a puff of summer wind.

Without notice, our dear love can escape our doting embrace.

Sing our songs among the stars and walk our dances across the face of the moon.

In the instant that Michael is gone, we know nothing.

No clocks can tell time.

No oceans can rush our tides with the abrupt absence of our treasure.

Though we are many, each of us is achingly alone, piercingly alone.

Only when we confess our confusion can we remember that he was a gift to us and we did have him.

He came to us from the creator, trailing creativity in abundance.

Despite the anguish, his life was sheathed in mother love, family love, and survived and did more than that.

He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style.

We had him whether we know who he was or did not know, he was ours and we were his.

We had him, beautiful, delighting our eyes.

His hat, aslant over his brow, and took a pose on his toes for all of us.

And we laughed and stomped our feet for him.

We were enchanted with his passion because he held nothing.

He gave us all he had been given.
Today in Tokyo, beneath the Eiffel Tower, in Ghana’s Black Star Square.

In Johannesburg and Pittsburgh, in Birmingham, Alabama, and Birmingham, England We are missing Michael.

But we do know we had him, and we are the world.

My mom, the rock star

My mom is a rock star. How come I never knew before how strong she is?

From the hospital...

Mom's in her hospital room, still sleeping. She looks good. Watched the nurse empty the drain & it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Incision looks good according to the medical people, but terrible to me. It's a barbaric surgery. I just pray that all the cancer is gone!

Out of surgery!

They just finished mom's surgery & she went through it great! She's in recovery & then will go to a room soon. Thank God!

Headed into surgery...

Mom just went into surgery. She's in good spirits, already making jokes & everything. I have lots of confidence in her medical team...they are all very nice and good at what they do.

Before the hospital...

I have so many things I need to blog about, but I've been so busy! Today is my mom's mastectomy surgery. She has been so brave through her chemo treatments & I know that she will do well in surgery & recovery too. I can tell my mom is nervous, but she even got up and cleaned out the fridge this morning! 6:48 a.m. and almost time to leave for the hospital. Prayers, please.

The synesthesia diet

Synesthesia is a fascinating condition that causes patients to have strange reactions, like they may be able to taste words, hear shapes, or taste a certain color when they see it. I tried saying several words out loud to see if I had this condition, but the only time I even remotely had a reaction was when I said the word, “pickle.” My mouth watered. I don’t think that’s the same thing. It occurred to me, though, that if we could bottle this condition, it would be the best diet ever. For example, let’s say every time I saw the color red, I tasted chocolate cake. Voila. No need to actually eat the cake because I’ve already tasted it! Or if I heard a warning bell sound every time a cute guy with a guitar showed up, then I’d have an extra warning to stay far, far away! (Ok, just kidding about this one.) But seriously, if I could just look at something and satisfy my cravings for pizza, chips and queso, hamburgers, Mexican food and chocolate, I’d have no problem losing weight. I’m gonna try to close my eyes and focus really hard next time I want to eat something bad for me (which should be anytime now) and try to taste it. I may be on to something here!

Poker Face

Don't you hate it when you find yourself singing along to a pop song you once hated? Ugh. That's exactly what's happened to me with Lady GaGa's "Poker Face." The first time I heard it, it woke me up on my alarm clock and I literally shot out of bed and was like, "What the heck is that?" Since then, it's grown on me. Turns out, critics love it and many artists have already covered it. Today I found this orchestral, instrumental version of the song...it's actually really beautiful.



I also really love this version where Queen Latifah adds her own flair:


However, I know the song can be annoying in it's usual, radio version. My sister summed it up best once when she said, "It makes me wanna POKE HER FACE!" :)

They gave us all they had to give

I've fallen down on my blogging job lately, but today we lost two icons of American culture -- Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson -- so I feel I had to write something. Tonight I found a copy of a column I wrote for my college paper in 1993 about Michael Jackson. It was before the child molestation charges, before many of the plastic surgeries. It's not great writing, but I still feel the same way. Michael Jackson was a musical genius who probably had a tortured soul after a lifetime in a cruel biz. There won't be another Michael Jackson. And there won't be another Farrah Fawcett, either. RIP, Farrah and Michael. You will be missed. Fellow musician, Lenny Kravitz, said it best with a lovely tribute to Michael Jackson tonight on Twitter.

Walk of Fame

My future husband, John Cusack, will soon have his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce announced their 2010 honorees yesterday. John will be joined by a few other of my favorites like Adam Sandler, Bryan Adams, ZZ Top and Van Morrison. So prooud of ya, John! ;)

Paper finds pilot's secret past

Today, the Austin American-Statesman ran a second article about an 81-year old female pilot who they had featured in story last week. After the feature story ran, they were tipped off that the woman had once been convicted of murdering her six year-old son! Here’s the paper’s editorial about why they do background checks and why this information didn't show up originally. Like the woman says, everyone has skeletons in their closet, but I have to say that killing a child is not something I find easy to forgive. There are some mistakes that don’t ever need to come out of the closet, but murder isn’t one of them.

Articles about the pilot:
Flying high at 81

Pilot has skeletons in closet

Testing out how to blog from my Blackberry.

The son of Evil Knievel Jumps in front of Capitol!

Last night in Austin, Evil Knievel's son Robbie jumped over two 18-Wheeler trucks in front of the Capitol. The stunt kicked off the annual Republic of Texas (ROT) Rally. Our fair city is literally covered with thousands of motorcycle riders this weekend. We were talking at work yesterday about how out of all the groups of people who visit Austin for events, the ROT Rally people are the nicest. They may be draped in leather and covered in tattoos and you can hear the roar of their motorcycles for miles away, but they love being here for the ROT Rally and for the most part are respectful to the locals...nevermind that they spend thousands of dollars here. (That helps boost tax revenues, which ultimately pays my salary!) The guests for ACL and SXSW have become downright snotty and entitled. Locals don't really get to enjoy either of these festivals anymore. Anyway, I wish I could have seen Robbie's jump last night. What a cool way to kick off the weekend. I'll be travelling to Houston and attemping to blog from the road. We'll see how that goes. :)

Shades of Gray

Today a good friend sent me an email trying to explain her political beliefs, which apparently lean to the extreme right. I’ve always tried to be open-minded and have never fallen to the extreme left or the extreme right of any issue. While I do fall more to the left than the right, to me, there are always circumstances to consider and I have a really hard time saying something is either black or white. Even things I am really passionate about are never black or white.

To quote the 1986 C. Thomas Howell movie Soul Man and the song Shades of Gray, “Today there is no black or white, only shades of gray.” That’s pretty much how I see the world and the issues we all face – in shades of gray. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around radical thoughts one way or the other. And frankly, radicals and conspiracy theorists scare me. A lot. For example, how can killing a man in a church because he is an abortion doctor be the right thing to do? If you oppose abortion and think that it is murder, how can murdering someone to prove your point be right? I don't get it.

Don’t get me wrong – I am all for questioning the status quo and ensuring that our leaders are on the best path for all of us. And sometimes I wish I could see things in black and white; it would make things easier. The Billy Joel lyrics below sum up how I feel:
“Shades of grey wherever I go
The more I find out the less that I know
Black and white is how it should be
But shades of grey are the colors I see.”

Where else would you find burnt orange loaves of bread?

I've been on a dream kick lately and I never posted this one in my blog, so I thought I'd share. Apparently I typed it up when I woke up that morning; I just found it in my files.

Dream 5/17/09
Appearing: me, my sister and my brother + my dad our step mom.
Details: We all went to “UT buffet” on the UT campus to eat dinner, but it was almost 9pm.
The manager made an exception and sent us through the line. We all got drinks and free burnt orange loaves of bread. (Ha!)

The buffet was in this giant building created in a circle and you had to walk all the way around, passing other UT depts. along the way. We passed the Radio, TV & Film dept. as we walked around the buffet line. They were filming a news cast and I think we all waved hello as we passed them. By the time we got to the actual food buffet, they were closed with their lights off. We were all livid because the manager told us we could go through the line.

That’s all I remember, but there was more to the dream.

Weird dream, as usual.

Oliver Twist

I've really been dreaming a lot lately. Odd, vivid dreams. Saturday night I dreamt that I was trapped on some big compound, living with a cult. Scary. Last night I dreamt that I bought a big, white, shaggy dog from a man off Craig's List. I named him Oliver Twist or Ollie. Not the kind of dog I would normally go for, but in the dream, he was super sweet and kind of looked like this:

Stupid is as stupid does

OMG. This 29 year-old guy just can't figure out how he ended up with 21 kids with 11 women. It's called stupidity, dude. Somebody buy the man some condoms, please. And wake up, women of Tennessee...do not have sex with this man!

Jay Leno is a class act

Jay Leno is a class act. He ended his run on the Tonight Show highlighting some of what he's done over the years, invited James Taylor to sing & had his replacement, Conan O'Brien stop by. But what most impressed me was how he wants the legacy of his show to be about the families who were formed during the show -- he gathered the children of all his staff members who met, fell in love and had kids over the years...and that's how he signed off. Very cool. You rock, Jay Leno.

Finally! An answer to why the chicken crossed the road!

Donuts, of course!

I'm editing songs now...Oy vey!

So today while driving in my car, I hear the song, “I Need A Lover” and catch myself singing along to it. I guess I’ve never really listened to the words before. First I noticed that it’s grammatically incorrect and says, “I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy,” instead of “I need a lover who won’t drive me crazy.” I chalked that up to just being a grammar nerd.

Then I realize he’s singing, “Some girl that knows the meaning of, ah-Hey hit the highway!” What?!?!? Did some of the guys I’ve dated lately write this song? Nope, it was written by none other than John Cougar Mellencamp – in 1979! The lyrics get better…he goes on to say, “Some girl who’ll thrill me and then go away!”

So what I learned from this song is that apparently men don’t care about grammar – at least not while writing music – and pretty much have always been this way! Sigh…..

I Need A Lover lyrics
(instrumental)

I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy

Some girl that knows the meaning of, ah-Hey hit the highway!

Well I’ve been walking the streets in the evenin’

Racin’ through the human jungle at night

I’m so confused, my mind is indifferent

Hey - I’m so weak, won’t somebody shut off that light?

Electricity runs thru the video

And I watch it from this hole I call home

And all them stonies are dancin to the radio

And I got the world callin me up free tonight on the phone

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl who’ll thrill me and then go away

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-Hey hit the highway!

Well I’m not wiped out by this poolroom life I’m livin'

I’m gonna quit this job, and go to school, and head back home (head back home)

Now I’m not asking to be loved or be forgiven

Hey - I just cant face shakin' in this bedroom one more night alone

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-Hey hit the highway!

(instrumental)

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl to thrill me and then go away

(I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy)

Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-Hey hit the highway!

You betcha.

Why it's Important to Answer Booty Calls!

The headline says it all: Man accused of stealing from woman who didn’t answer “booty call.”
This guy was determined to get something outta that booty call! Geez, this takes stupid criminal to a new level.

Change is Gonna Come

I had another dream about moving. I don't remember the details this time, other than hanging clothes in my new closet. I dreamt about moving just a few days ago and apparently dreaming about moving "signifies your desire or need for change" or that you seek independence or are ready to move on to something new. I've already mastered the being independent thing, so that can't be it. And I've had enough change in the last two years of my life to last a lifetime. But as they say, change is one of the things we can always count on. I'm not sure what changes are ahead, but I can't help but hum the great Sam Cooke song, "Change is Gonna Come."

No one at home in the Texas House

This is video posted on the Austin American-Statesman of the Texas Legislature. I realize they have long, boring days and this was over a holiday weekend, but this is just ridiculous. None of them are at their seats! No wonder nothing ever gets done. What a joke.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1494874918?bctid=24154221001

And then when they called for mandatory attendance in order to vote, watch what happens:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1494874918?bctid=24161754001

Happy Birthday to my baby brother!

I can't believe my "baby" brother is 34 today! And my sister will be 30 in September! Sure makes the older sister feel old!

Happy Birthday, brother! Love ya!

Dream a little dream

I’ve had weird dreams the last two nights. My dad was in both of them and whenever I dream about him, I don’t want to wake up. I dream about him once or twice a month and we’re always just kinda hanging out, just him and me. I guess that’s what I miss most about my dad – he made me feel comfortable and safe and knew me better than anyone. I think I dream about him when I’m under stress and need to feel safe.

Dream #1
The night before last, I dreamt that me, my sister, my brother and his girlfriend went on a trip. At the airport flying back home, we all got separated so I never saw if everyone got on the plane. We all had seats away from each other. Actually, none of us ever saw my sister at the airport and she wasn't answering her phone, so we were worried that she didn't catch the plane. (Not sure why she wasn't with us) The flight attendants would not tell me if she was on the plane. I never saw my brother and his girlfriend during the flight, but I assumed they caught the flight since I'd seen them in the airport.

At the end of the flight, everyone had to use their credit cards to check out, using a machine at the top of one of the seats in the mid section of the plane. It was weird and held everyone up. But after I stood up, I found an old credit card of my brother’s, bent and lying on the floor under my seat. Then, I looked in the seat I had just been sitting in and saw his wallet, tucked under a fold in the fabric. A flight attendant saw me pick it up and grabbed it from me and even after I showed her ID, she wouldn’t let me keep the wallet. I still didn’t see them and the plane was completely full, so I was getting worried. I tried calling all three of them but of course they hadn't turned on their phones yet. Then someone in the front part of the plane found a cell phone under a seat and it was my brother’s! Now I was really worried, but they made me de-board the plane. The airport was extremely crowded and I still could not find them. People were whizzing past me, bumping into me and yelling at me, but I was not about to budge until I found my siblings and my brother’s girlfriend. About the time I started to have a panic attack in the airport, I woke up!

What Dream #1 Means (according to the Internet) Airport - To see a busy airport in your dream signifies the desire for freedom, high ideals, ambition, and hopes. It is an indication that you are approaching a new departure in your life. Some new idea is taking off or is ready to take off. You may be experiencing a new relationship, new career path or new adventure. Lost - To dream that someone else is lost represents unresolved issues or feelings regarding the person that is lost. Consider also what aspect of that person you may have lost within your own self. Perhaps you need to recapture and re-acknowledge those aspects.

Dream #2

Last night I dreamt that my family was helping me move into this little place that was connected to a warehouse or maybe it was a storage facility. It had a gravel driveway and people would drive by to go down the road to whatever the other facility was. The location was odd, but the place was really cute. I have moving dreams every now and again and I always dream about leaving something behind. It’s usually family heirlooms and I have to go back to my maternal grandparents’ house to get it. That must mean something. Longing for the past, maybe?

Anyway, I know the entire family was there, but at the end of the day it was just dad and me. I can’t tell you how many times dad helped me move over the years, so this makes sense. We were laughing and he was teasing me like he used to about being a packrat. We were exhausted, but having a good time unpacking in my new place.

Then we decided to go get some dinner. Dad was driving the old family blue and white 1979 Chevy Blazer (we all drove it at one point) and all of a sudden while he was driving, he slumped over and lost consciousness. I struggled to grab the wheel, pull over and hit the brakes…it was extremely stressful! I immediately called 9-1-1 and drove to the ER. Once there, they whisked him away to a room. I think I called my brother and sister at this point and for some reason, they told me I should go ahead and leave the hospital. I think I had to take my mom to a doctor’s appointment or something too. When I got done with that, I called grandma and pop to see if they knew how dad was doing. Pop was crying (something I’ve never seen or heard) and grandma was at the hospital with dad. All I remember from there was getting back to the hospital and seeing grandma. Dad was still in surgery or the other room, but we couldn’t get any information from the staff. I woke up feeling very anxious, but then happy that I’d gotten to see my dad in my dream.

What Dream #2 Means (according to the Internet) To dream that you are moving away signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship and you are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence. A hospital is a place of healing. Your dream may offer you cures to improve your psychological or physical health. Observe in which department your dream is set – it may give you important clues to the nature of your problem. You may need some rest or may be trying to recover from a psychological wound that requires inner healing. Or perhaps the dream has a warning about your physical health? Does the dream offer a cure? Does it suggests a healthier behavior pattern or diet? They called Edgar Cayce ‘the sleeping prophet’ because he would fall asleep and answer questions put to him about the health of people he had never met. He gave startlingly accurate diagnoses and his revolutionary treatments and cures are still being used and researched today. Hidden within our dreams are the keys to spiritual, psychological and physical health.

Hmmm…

Don't pee on Old Faithful

I have to say, these idiots didn't get the right punishment. Would have been better if Old Faithful had awakened right at that moment and spit their pee right back on 'em!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30765586/?GT1=43001

my treadmill is so vain

So several months ago a group of us made the decision to walk in the March of Dimes March for Babies 5K. I’ve been trying to “train” for it since I am so out of shape. I’d do great for a week, then fall off, then walk once the next week, then fall off, then do great again the next week. No consistency. But at least I was trying. Suddenly, the race is upon us – it’s THIS Saturday! How did this happen?

Tonight I DID NOT want to go walk. But I did it. At five minutes in, I was ready to throw in the towel. And that’s when it happened: Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” came on shuffle on my iPod. I pictured my feet beating up the treadmill.

Before I knew it, the Bee Gees were on with “You Should Be Dancing.” I just pictured myself thin, fit and tan like Melissa Rycroft on Dancing With the Stars, dancing in a ball gown on the treadmill. I was graceful and fluid. Two things I never am.

Then my feet started hurting. “I feel the earth move under my feet,” Carole King belted out. I grinned at the irony and kept walking. Ok, that’s it, I thought…time to start winding down. Then Jon Bon Jovi belted out, “Ooh ooh livin’ on a prayer…” Who could stop during Bon Jovi? Just when I thought I couldn’t go any further, Stevie Nicks was there to help me out with “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around,” which of course made me think about my heart and how good walking was for it! Next, my future husband Lenny Kravitz stopped by to tell me he was ready for love with “Heaven Help.” On that note, I can stop, I thought. I can die a happy woman.

“Wheel in the Sky” came on next and we all know my love of all things Journey, plus I started singing “wheel of the treadmill keeps on turning…” and that made me giggle like a 12 year old.

Next up was Carly Simon with “You’re So Vain,” which I dedicated to the treadmill. I swear it looks at itself in the stupid gym mirrors while it’s tormenting me! Another Journey song, “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Hello! You can’t stop when like the best rock ballad ever is cheering you on!

No workout is complete without Prince, but when “Kiss” came on, I finally decided to slow it down and end my walk at 2.5 miles. Whew. I think I can finish the 5K on Saturday. Thank God for my iPod.