my treadmill is so vain

So several months ago a group of us made the decision to walk in the March of Dimes March for Babies 5K. I’ve been trying to “train” for it since I am so out of shape. I’d do great for a week, then fall off, then walk once the next week, then fall off, then do great again the next week. No consistency. But at least I was trying. Suddenly, the race is upon us – it’s THIS Saturday! How did this happen?

Tonight I DID NOT want to go walk. But I did it. At five minutes in, I was ready to throw in the towel. And that’s when it happened: Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” came on shuffle on my iPod. I pictured my feet beating up the treadmill.

Before I knew it, the Bee Gees were on with “You Should Be Dancing.” I just pictured myself thin, fit and tan like Melissa Rycroft on Dancing With the Stars, dancing in a ball gown on the treadmill. I was graceful and fluid. Two things I never am.

Then my feet started hurting. “I feel the earth move under my feet,” Carole King belted out. I grinned at the irony and kept walking. Ok, that’s it, I thought…time to start winding down. Then Jon Bon Jovi belted out, “Ooh ooh livin’ on a prayer…” Who could stop during Bon Jovi? Just when I thought I couldn’t go any further, Stevie Nicks was there to help me out with “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around,” which of course made me think about my heart and how good walking was for it! Next, my future husband Lenny Kravitz stopped by to tell me he was ready for love with “Heaven Help.” On that note, I can stop, I thought. I can die a happy woman.

“Wheel in the Sky” came on next and we all know my love of all things Journey, plus I started singing “wheel of the treadmill keeps on turning…” and that made me giggle like a 12 year old.

Next up was Carly Simon with “You’re So Vain,” which I dedicated to the treadmill. I swear it looks at itself in the stupid gym mirrors while it’s tormenting me! Another Journey song, “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Hello! You can’t stop when like the best rock ballad ever is cheering you on!

No workout is complete without Prince, but when “Kiss” came on, I finally decided to slow it down and end my walk at 2.5 miles. Whew. I think I can finish the 5K on Saturday. Thank God for my iPod.