Front Row Seats

As I sit here watching Steel Magnolias for about the millionth time and the sad part is making me cry for the millionth time, my heart is also aching for a dear friend of mine. Her dad, who was battling lung cancer, passed away yesterday.

It's bringing back a flood of memories for me. I can still remember the emotions of losing my own dad, also to lung cancer, about two and a half years ago. We both watched our fathers fight the disease bravely, for a long time. We watched them suffer. We watched their bodies transform from healthy, strong men to sickly and weak. Unfortunately, we saw them suffer. And it's something you never forget. I wish more than anything that I could take away the feelings I know she's going through right now. I wish no one ever had to feel the loss of a parent - or any loved one, for that matter. But we all have to do it.

I don't know how it all works, but ever since my grandma died in 1993, I've pictured her on the welcoming committee in Heaven, planning the arrival parties and greeting newcomers. I know that sounds silly, but it's truly how I picture it. That, and all of your family and friends who passed before you are there to greet you. Today, I pictured my dad there, to welcome my friend's dad, even though I'm not sure they ever met in person. But I'm positive he was there, to tell him thank you for being a good dad to his daughter who became my friend. For the longest time after my dad died, I pictured him as a kid in Heaven, running around, showing God and the angels how fast he could run. I saw him organizing baseball games and track meets. But after awhile, that feeling left me. Now I simply feel a comforting presence of my dad when I think of him. I know that he is up there watching over all of us. And now my friend's dad is too. They have front row seats to our lives and will be with us forever.

Reminiscing the High Spots

A few years after my Grandpa D passed away, my mom made the decision to move out of his house. (She had lived there with him the last few years of his life, caring for him.) When we packed up the house, we found this letter that I've typed in below that Grandpa had written to Grandma at some point. I wish it was dated. Judging by his handwriting, it was written before I was born. So it’s old. ;)

We were all so fortunate to have had him in our lives for so long. Grandpa lived to be 95 years old, surviving many years after grandma passed away. They were married for 57 years when grandma died. She was the love of his life. Grandpa was one of the greatest characters I’ve ever known. (Actually all of my grandparents are great characters!) He was short and probably weighed 120 pounds at his heaviest, but he had a very big presence. He worked for Texaco well into his senior years, then became a Bailiff at the Travis County courthouse, working until Glaucoma took his eyesight at about the age of 88.

He was known for his one acre, meticulously cared for, plush green yard and was a notorious flirt. But he was also a very religious man – he could tell you where to find any verse in the Bible. He prayed every single night (out loud) and always included people most of us would be cursing rather than praying for. Instead of saying “thank you,” he would say, “bless you.” And he would say it to everyone. So I guess it shouldn’t be that surprising that this letter he wrote is so sappy. I have to say that if I received a letter like this from a man in today’s world, I would roll my eyes and ask him what his real motive was. It’s sad, but true. People don’t write letters anymore. It’s a lost art. So, to celebrate Grandma & Grandpa’s love and the art of writing letters, here it is:

Dearest:

After reminiscing the high spots of this last year, I find there is only one outstanding fact, (that’s you). I’ve found my happiness in you; and now at Christmastime I feel like I ought to do everything a man can do, for you. However I have chosen the shortest and most pleasant method of showing my appreciation and affection. Dearest, this little gift, I call it little because I’m comparing my love for you to this gift and I find the gift short. Therefore increase its quantity billions and billions of times and you have only a fifth of my love for you.

Now let me add that this gift isn’t how I value your Love either because no gift can recompense your love but let this be a slight indication of how I value your Love and Minnie Dearest, I pray God that our Love shall ever increase, never die, and that we shall grow to a more Devine, and more human understanding. May God give us happiness forever.

Dearest I hope you will be able to use this traveling case occasionally and that you may benefit by possessing it. I give you this with all my Love.

Affectionately yours forever,
Bernie