I’ve had weird dreams the last two nights. My dad was in both of them and whenever I dream about him, I don’t want to wake up. I dream about him once or twice a month and we’re always just kinda hanging out, just him and me. I guess that’s what I miss most about my dad – he made me feel comfortable and safe and knew me better than anyone. I think I dream about him when I’m under stress and need to feel safe.
Dream #1
The night before last, I dreamt that me, my sister, my brother and his girlfriend went on a trip. At the airport flying back home, we all got separated so I never saw if everyone got on the plane. We all had seats away from each other. Actually, none of us ever saw my sister at the airport and she wasn't answering her phone, so we were worried that she didn't catch the plane. (Not sure why she wasn't with us) The flight attendants would not tell me if she was on the plane. I never saw my brother and his girlfriend during the flight, but I assumed they caught the flight since I'd seen them in the airport.
At the end of the flight, everyone had to use their credit cards to check out, using a machine at the top of one of the seats in the mid section of the plane. It was weird and held everyone up. But after I stood up, I found an old credit card of my brother’s, bent and lying on the floor under my seat. Then, I looked in the seat I had just been sitting in and saw his wallet, tucked under a fold in the fabric. A flight attendant saw me pick it up and grabbed it from me and even after I showed her ID, she wouldn’t let me keep the wallet. I still didn’t see them and the plane was completely full, so I was getting worried. I tried calling all three of them but of course they hadn't turned on their phones yet. Then someone in the front part of the plane found a cell phone under a seat and it was my brother’s! Now I was really worried, but they made me de-board the plane. The airport was extremely crowded and I still could not find them. People were whizzing past me, bumping into me and yelling at me, but I was not about to budge until I found my siblings and my brother’s girlfriend. About the time I started to have a panic attack in the airport, I woke up!
What Dream #1 Means (according to the Internet) Airport - To see a busy airport in your dream signifies the desire for freedom, high ideals, ambition, and hopes. It is an indication that you are approaching a new departure in your life. Some new idea is taking off or is ready to take off. You may be experiencing a new relationship, new career path or new adventure. Lost - To dream that someone else is lost represents unresolved issues or feelings regarding the person that is lost. Consider also what aspect of that person you may have lost within your own self. Perhaps you need to recapture and re-acknowledge those aspects.
Dream #2
Last night I dreamt that my family was helping me move into this little place that was connected to a warehouse or maybe it was a storage facility. It had a gravel driveway and people would drive by to go down the road to whatever the other facility was. The location was odd, but the place was really cute. I have moving dreams every now and again and I always dream about leaving something behind. It’s usually family heirlooms and I have to go back to my maternal grandparents’ house to get it. That must mean something. Longing for the past, maybe?
Anyway, I know the entire family was there, but at the end of the day it was just dad and me. I can’t tell you how many times dad helped me move over the years, so this makes sense. We were laughing and he was teasing me like he used to about being a packrat. We were exhausted, but having a good time unpacking in my new place.
Then we decided to go get some dinner. Dad was driving the old family blue and white 1979 Chevy Blazer (we all drove it at one point) and all of a sudden while he was driving, he slumped over and lost consciousness. I struggled to grab the wheel, pull over and hit the brakes…it was extremely stressful! I immediately called 9-1-1 and drove to the ER. Once there, they whisked him away to a room. I think I called my brother and sister at this point and for some reason, they told me I should go ahead and leave the hospital. I think I had to take my mom to a doctor’s appointment or something too. When I got done with that, I called grandma and pop to see if they knew how dad was doing. Pop was crying (something I’ve never seen or heard) and grandma was at the hospital with dad. All I remember from there was getting back to the hospital and seeing grandma. Dad was still in surgery or the other room, but we couldn’t get any information from the staff. I woke up feeling very anxious, but then happy that I’d gotten to see my dad in my dream.
What Dream #2 Means (according to the Internet) To dream that you are moving away signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship and you are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence. A hospital is a place of healing. Your dream may offer you cures to improve your psychological or physical health. Observe in which department your dream is set – it may give you important clues to the nature of your problem. You may need some rest or may be trying to recover from a psychological wound that requires inner healing. Or perhaps the dream has a warning about your physical health? Does the dream offer a cure? Does it suggests a healthier behavior pattern or diet? They called Edgar Cayce ‘the sleeping prophet’ because he would fall asleep and answer questions put to him about the health of people he had never met. He gave startlingly accurate diagnoses and his revolutionary treatments and cures are still being used and researched today. Hidden within our dreams are the keys to spiritual, psychological and physical health.
Hmmm…
So several months ago a group of us made the decision to walk in the March of Dimes March for Babies 5K. I’ve been trying to “train” for it since I am so out of shape. I’d do great for a week, then fall off, then walk once the next week, then fall off, then do great again the next week. No consistency. But at least I was trying. Suddenly, the race is upon us – it’s THIS Saturday! How did this happen?
Tonight I DID NOT want to go walk. But I did it. At five minutes in, I was ready to throw in the towel. And that’s when it happened: Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” came on shuffle on my iPod. I pictured my feet beating up the treadmill.
Before I knew it, the Bee Gees were on with “You Should Be Dancing.” I just pictured myself thin, fit and tan like Melissa Rycroft on Dancing With the Stars, dancing in a ball gown on the treadmill. I was graceful and fluid. Two things I never am.
Then my feet started hurting. “I feel the earth move under my feet,” Carole King belted out. I grinned at the irony and kept walking. Ok, that’s it, I thought…time to start winding down. Then Jon Bon Jovi belted out, “Ooh ooh livin’ on a prayer…” Who could stop during Bon Jovi? Just when I thought I couldn’t go any further, Stevie Nicks was there to help me out with “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around,” which of course made me think about my heart and how good walking was for it! Next, my future husband Lenny Kravitz stopped by to tell me he was ready for love with “Heaven Help.” On that note, I can stop, I thought. I can die a happy woman.
“Wheel in the Sky” came on next and we all know my love of all things Journey, plus I started singing “wheel of the treadmill keeps on turning…” and that made me giggle like a 12 year old.
Next up was Carly Simon with “You’re So Vain,” which I dedicated to the treadmill. I swear it looks at itself in the stupid gym mirrors while it’s tormenting me! Another Journey song, “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Hello! You can’t stop when like the best rock ballad ever is cheering you on!
No workout is complete without Prince, but when “Kiss” came on, I finally decided to slow it down and end my walk at 2.5 miles. Whew. I think I can finish the 5K on Saturday. Thank God for my iPod.
Today I woke up to hear the news that more than 100,000 Iraqi CIVILIANS have died since March 2003. Civilians. People, like you and me. Not soldiers, not Saddam Hussein's followers. Not people hiding those elusive weapons of mass destruction. Civilians. I don't want to know the latest toll on American troops in Iraq...I think last time I heard, it was about 4,000 lives lost. Makes me sick to my stomach.
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Last night there was a bad wreck on I-35 here in Austin – six teenagers ages 15-18 were in an SUV and swerved to miss a rear-end collision, overcorrected, then flipped several times, landing in the path of an 18-wheeler. One of the kids died and the other five are all in serious condition. Things like this remind me of how quickly things can change, but this wreck also gave me a panicky feeling in my chest. My nephew is 14, going on 30, and already has a car waiting for him when he turns 16. It’s a 1966 red Mustang. Yep, it’s ridiculous. Waaaaaayyyyy too much car for a kid. I tried to convince him that I need to drive it for him until he gets his license, but he’s having none of it. This wreck reminded me about how my dad always told me I wasn’t allowed to go places in cars full of other teenagers. Not that it caused the wreck, but I’m sure being an inexperienced driver didn’t help in this situation. Dad used to always tell me not to play the radio while driving, don’t do anything else that could distract you from driving, he would say. He was right, of course, but at the time I probably rolled my eyes. Now I’m a more experienced driver, but I allow myself to participate in many distractions – I talk on my cell phone (eek), I eat in the car, I put on makeup at stoplights and I sometimes dry my hair with the air vents and windows. Dad would not be happy about all this! I need to be a better example for my nephew.
So tonight I walked into the gym at my apartment complex and saw that they had installed a shiny new vending machine. It's a pretty small gym, so this new machine, full of great unhealthy snacks like chips, soda & chocolate bars, stood out like a sore thumb. I stopped dead in my tracks and thought, "You gotta be kidding me! A snack machine in the gym? Are they demented?" I got on the treadmill directly across from the snack machine and at first thought that may not be the wisest choice. But I figured out that there were exactly 25 items in the snack machine, so I concentrated on counting them, over and over and over again. It seemed to help. Maybe having the snacks in front of me like that was a good thing, like dangling meat in front of a dog or something! Motivation! :)
So tonight on my walk, I walked past three little boys playing hide-n-seek. They were having such a good time it brought a smile to my face. I started wondering why we don't play hide-n-seek after we grow up. Then it hit me...we do! Or at least it could be a really good excuse for why I still haven't found someone to spend my life with. He's probably just still playing hide-n-seek! How exactly did that game end again?
Duh. Weight discrimination is the only discrimination still allowed in this country. Don't get me started. http://tinyurl.com/bigfatboss
My sister is completely freaked out by bunnies. For as long as I can remember, she hasn't liked them. Apparently her dislike of the furry little creatures started a long time ago. I just found this photo from a Colorado trip in 1984 and she doesn't look very happy to see this bunny! Happy Easter, y'all!
This is a little something I wrote a few months back after talking to a several completely clueless men in a row. I'd had it. We all know dating is hard, but some of the stuff I've seen in the last few years is just plain ridiculous. I think I'm going to start compiling more of my thoughts on dating and sharing some of my crazy experiences here. Let me know what you think.
The Really Old Rules for Dating Jenn
Be breathing and own a guitar.
The Old Rules for Dating Jenn
Be breathing, have a job, a car and a place to live. Preferably do not have a guitar, but it’s ok if you do – as long as you have a day job too.
The New Rules for Dating Jenn
Please don’t text message me all day long, especially before we’ve even met. This tells me that you must not be very busy at work or you don’t have a job (aka, you’re not successful) and it tells me that you have absolutely no regard for how busy my workday is. It starts out cute, but becomes annoying very quickly. Now don’t read this and say, “Whoopee! I don’t have to communicate with her!” Just take into consideration that I have a life and an identity too. I promise to reciprocate.
If you’re interested in someone, do some research – find a couple of things that might be fun to do. Have some ideas of what you want to do when you call them! If you’re new in town, look around online or drive around beforehand or even ask some friends or co-workers where good date places are! Always present me with an idea or two. Women love this. Give us options, we will tell you what we really want to do! Those options can be as simple as meeting at a specific place for coffee or making plans to have dinner at a specific place. DO NOT ask the girl, “Where should we go?” If money is an issue, find something free to do. There are TONS of free things to do out there, be creative!
The next step is to call me (no, don’t ask me in a text) and ask me out on a proper date. This does not mean that you have to spend a lot of money. What women want is for a guy to put some effort into it! It shows that you really, truly like them. If we see that you don’t put effort into it, well, that’s a good sign that you’re: just not that into us like the book says, that you’re just looking for one thing and that we’re just one of many women you are keeping in the cue and we’re not special. Women want to feel special.
Do not send me a photo of your genitalia over IM, email or cell phone. That’s just plain DUMB. Do you really want pictures of you like that out in the universe? Once a woman gets the photo, she could do anything with it, like say, email it to your employer. Not that I’ve ever done that myself. (And in case anyone is wondering - YES, men have sent me pics, unsolicited of their genitalia. It's unbelievable!)
If you need to break a date for any reason, CALL ME and let me know. I won’t care what the reason is, trust me, I would much rather be cancelled on than be stood up.
Do not lie and say you are 6’3” when you’re barely 5’3”. Again, it’s just dumb. And you wouldn’t want me to lie to you about my appearance, would you?
Don’t ask me my bra size. I won’t even let the professional bra fitters at Lane Bryant measure me to be sure I’m wearing the right size. Why would I tell you? They’re big, ok. And even if they weren’t, why do you need to know the size? So you can tell your buddies? If you appreciate them, show it, when appropriate and if it’s ok with me, but don’t ask about them!
“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.” ~ Jeremy Irons
I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing lately and wondering how the years have flown by so quickly. And man that makes me feel old! First there was the realization that my 20-year high school reunion will be next year. I realized this about the time a webpage was created for our class and when classmates from high school started coming out of the woodwork on facebook. I currently have 51 facebook friends who I knew in high school! Crazy.
Another event that took me back in time was the 70th anniversary of Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch & the 60th anniversary of Girlstown, USA. I spent some very formative years working at Cal Farley’s. I learned so much about the public relations field and participated in so many exciting things while there! I met celebrities like Dale Evans Rogers and Willie Nelson, pitched a story to People magazine and watched as it actually got published (!) and forged some very special, long-lasting relationships with some of the best people on earth. I always tell people that I think God plucked people from their corners of the earth and placed them at Cal Farley’s – the people who work there eat, breathe, and sleep the mission of providing homes for children. They are salt of the earth people and I love them dearly. When my invitation arrived in the mail for the 70th/60th anniversary celebrations, it stunned me. It seemed like just yesterday that I was working there and we planned the 60th/50th anniversaries! Ten years have flown by! The anniversary brought back some fond memories of all the fun events we had that year. I also remember being in a hotel room in Lubbock, getting ready to drive out to the Girlstown anniversary event on campus and hearing that John F. Kennedy Jr’s plane had gone down. I was able to meet up with some of my old buddies from Cal Farley’s when they celebrated the anniversary here in Austin at the Capitol…it was so nice to see them.
And the very next week, my alma mater, West Texas A&M University, held a 100th anniversary celebration here in Austin. I attended the event at the Bob Bullock State History Museum and ran into the former alumni director, aka Mr. WT, who was also my supervisor when I interned in the Communications dept. at the college. Saw a few other familiar faces and even met some new people. They did a great job highlighting the history of the school at the event, bravo to the planners! The event made me realize how much WT has changed since I left, ahem, 15 years ago. There’s now a fancy, new pedestrian mall, an entirely new fine arts bldg, and even a performance hall/arena! In fact, Dr. Maya Angelou is speaking in the new arena later this month! I’m hoping to make the trip up to Canyon to see her. It’ll be my first time on campus in at least eight years, maybe more.
And then there’s another anniversary looming…the second anniversary of my dad’s passing is Monday. At this very moment, I am holding up ok, but it’s always there in the back of my mind. We’re not doing anything formal, I guess we’re all just going to mark the event in our own ways. It seems like much, much longer since I saw my dad. I miss him every single day and still yearn to talk to him, to hug him. But most of the time, memories of my dad bring a huge smile to my face. He influenced my life so much that I literally think of him every day because I’ll say or do something he would have done, or I’ll hear a song he liked or whatever. I’m so lucky to have those memories.
In fact, I feel lucky to have all the memories I’ve talked about here. It’s the memories we have that will carry us through to the future. They help shape your hopes and dreams. I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I do have some dreams and I hope they come true. And if not, I’m sure that the adventure in trying to make them come true will be just as exciting.
I’ve had weird dreams the last two nights. My dad was in both of them and whenever I dream about him, I don’t want to wake up. I dream about him once or twice a month and we’re always just kinda hanging out, just him and me. I guess that’s what I miss most about my dad – he made me feel comfortable and safe and knew me better than anyone. I think I dream about him when I’m under stress and need to feel safe.
