When Your Job Here is Done

Andy Rooney

I just read that the lovable 60 Minutes curmudgeon Andy Rooney has died, just a month after signing off the show for the last time. Have you ever noticed that people who are living their destiny die almost immediately after they stop doing it? 

Charles Schulz

The first person who came to mind for me was Peanuts creator Charles Schulz. He died on February 12, 2000. His very last Peanuts cartoon strip, drawn just a few weeks before, ran (as already scheduled to be his last) the next day, February 13, 2000. Prophetic. His job here on earth was done.

Helen Wagner

Helen Wagner, who played Nancy Hughes McClosky on As The World Turns (ATWT), filmed her last scenes for the soap opera in March 2010 and died a few months later in May. Helen holds the distinction of uttering the first words ever spoken on the television version of ATWT, being the one on camera in 1963 when Walter Conkrite interrupted to tell the world that President Kennedy had been shot and is recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest run in a single role on television. Coincidentally, the show, one of the longest running soap operas in history, went off the air forever in September 2010.

Steve Jobs

And then, of course, there was Steve Jobs, the infamous founder of Apple. Just six weeks after resigning (albeit to due to illness), died at his home in October 2011.

Amidst all these celebrities, I can’t help but think of my mom, who died at the age of 60 earlier this year. Yes, it was the cancer that ultimately made her stop working. But as she battled it for two years, undergoing chemo, radiation and even surgeries, she continued to work. She worked until September 2010 and died a few months later in January 2011. I still cannot believe she worked up until then. My dad’s story was very similar – not long after he retired is when his cancer was discovered. He, too, fought the disease and continued what I believe was his true calling – being our daddy – right up until the very end.
It’s funny. Most of us dream about the day we can retire and enjoy our lives. It seems like these folks were already enjoying their lives to the fullest and when the joy of doing what they did was taken away, they could just move on to a better place. I guess they’re still living the dream, in that respect. Why stick around on earth when you could be in Heaven, enjoying all that it has to offer?

Being a mommy.

Being a daddy.

Brooke Burke

This woman has had FOUR children and is older than me. Ok, only by six months, but still. I think I hate her. I mean, I did try to take her out once: http://jennericgirl.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-almost-took-down-new-dancing-with.html. Just kidding, you're awesome, Brooke. I'm just really jealous. But you could stop being so damn beautiful, ok?

Imaginary Friend

I watched a movie tonight where this girl (played by Alyssa Milano) had an imaginary friend as a kid who then came back when she was an adult and was about to marry the wrong person. In true Lifetime Movie Network fashion, she and her imaginary friend fell in love. When I was a kid, I apparently had an imaginary pet flea. I don’t remember this, but my parents told me about it. What are the chances my imaginary pet flea will come back into my life and be marriage material?

She fulfilled her calling...

After being on the air for 25 years, the Oprah Winfrey Show ended on May 25, 2011. I was never a faithful viewer like some, but would watch from time to time. My mom watched it nearly every day, though. And I always liked the show. It’s impossible to miss the influence that Oprah had on our society – from book suggestions to starting careers of Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil and even to introducing most of the country to would-be President Barack Obama.

When I did watch, her show always spoke to me, sharing a message that I needed right at that moment. Oprah’s final show was no different. Her last episode was without fanfair – it was just Oprah, alone on her stage, pontificating about the last 25 years and giving words of encouragement to her viewers. Oprah was undeniably more than just a TV show host. She found her true calling and lit up the world by fulfilling it. Her final words really inspired me. I’ve saved her last show to watch whenever I’m down in the dumps and need a pick-me-up. Below are just a few of the quotes from her last show that resonated with me, courtesy of oprah.com:

"What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it. Every time we have seen a person on this stage who is a success in their life, they spoke of the job, and they spoke of the juice that they receive from doing what they knew they were meant to be doing. We saw it in the volunteers who rocked abandoned babies in Atlanta. We saw it with those lovely pie ladies from Cape Cod making those delicious potpies. ... We saw it every time Tina Turner, Celine, Bocelli or Lady Gaga lit up the stage with their passion. Because that is what a calling is. It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world."

“…But what I want you to know as this show ends: Each one of you has your own platform. Do not let the trappings here fool you. Mine is a stage in a studio, yours is wherever you are with your own reach, however small or however large that reach is. Maybe it's 20 people, maybe it's 30 people, 40 people, your family, your friends, your neighbors, your classmates, your classroom, your co-workers. Wherever you are, that is your platform, your stage, your circle of influence. That is your talk show, and that is where your power lies. In every way, in every day, you are showing people exactly who you are. You're letting your life speak for you. And when you do that, you will receive in direct proportion to how you give in whatever platform you have.”

"My great wish for all of you who have allowed me to honor my calling through this show is that you carry whatever you're supposed to be doing, carry that forward and don't waste any more time. Start embracing the life that is calling you and use your life to serve the world."

“…Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn't matter what your mama did; it doesn't matter what your daddy didn't do. You are responsible for your life. ... You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you're responsible for the energy that you bring to others.”

“…There is a difference, you know, between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness…What I got was we often block our own blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough…”

“…I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire…Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"

"I have felt the presence of God my whole life. Even when I didn't have a name for it, I could feel the voice bigger than myself speaking to me, and all of us have that same voice. Be still and know it. You can acknowledge it or not. You can worship it or not. You can praise it, you can ignore it or you can know it. Know it. It's always there speaking to you and waiting for you to hear it in every move, in every decision. I wait and I listen. I'm still—I wait and listen for the guidance that's greater than my meager mind.”

"The only time I've ever made mistakes is when I didn't listen. So what I know is, God is love and God is life, and your life is always speaking to you. First in whispers. ... It's subtle, those whispers. And if you don't pay attention to the whispers, it gets louder and louder. It's like getting thumped upside the head, like my grandmother used to do. ... You don't pay attention to that, it's like getting a brick upside your head. You don't pay attention to that, the whole brick wall falls down. That's the pattern I've seen in my life, and it's played out over and over again on this show…What I've gleaned from this show: Whispers are always messages, and if you don't hear the message, the message turns into a problem. And if you don't handle the problem, the problem turns into a crisis. And if you don't handle the crisis, disaster. Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?"

The last two paragraphs are the ones that really hit home for me. I know that I haven’t always listened to God’s gentle whispers or even the thumps on the head. I think this was the part of the show I really needed to hear right at that moment and take to heart.

Thank you for all the wonderful years, Oprah. I know we’ll see you in some other venture soon. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll see me in a new venture too – one that lights me up.

Praying for a Miracle

It's been awhile since I've blogged. To say I've been busy is an understatement. When I look back on this time in my life, I wonder what parts of it I will remember. Hopefully the good parts, not the stressful, painful parts that seem to be the norm right now. 

I wrote the paragraph below on my cell phone, while lying in a bed in my cousin's house in Houston with my mom the day after we visited MD Anderson for the first time. We'd reached the end of our treatment options in Austin and we were hoping for good news. We didn't get it, not really. MD Anderson, known for not believing in the world terminal, told us that her cancer is terminal. We were devastated. But, there was a tiny glimmer of hope - a clinical trial that has already helped several other women with the exact same rare form of breast cancer that mom has. They were clear that there's still no cure, but they were excited about the results they'd seen so far in the trial. We left Houston the next day, not knowing yet if mom would be accepted into the clinical trial.

September 20, 2010: I'm lying here thinking that this might be the last time I ever share a bed with my mom. Funny how I don't mind that her leg has meandered over into my space or that her pointy elbow is dangerously close to my head. She's moaning and snoring and it sounds beautiful to me. I wish she was talking in her sleep like she was last night. I wish I could bottle up these special times with her and make them last longer. I wish I could take back every fight I've ever had with her. I'll stop typing now to pray for a miracle.

Green with Envy

This week I got a reminder that things are not always what they seem. About six-seven years ago I worked with a group of fantastically talented girls, all a little younger than me. It was a great team – very energetic, creative and innovative. We became friends and we had a lot of fun working together. Eventually, we all moved on to bigger and better things. And I watched as each one of these ladies fell in love and got married (with the exception of one who was already married to the love of her life), had babies and/or puppies, moved into beautiful homes, traveled to exotic locations, and watched their careers flourish. As happy as I am for all of them, I have to admit that I have been childishly jealous. I’m not knocking my life, but look at it on paper – city government employee who is underpaid and hasn’t gotten a raise in several years, lives alone in a 650 sq ft apartment with her cat, in debt up to my eyeballs and sporting really bad credit, still single (but still looking) and driving around in a five year old car (that I still love) and my big vacation this year is to Omaha, Nebraska! (However, I am going to Omaha to see a dear friend I haven’t seen in years and I am very excited about it…it’s just not Tuscany, ya know?)

I know I’m not supposed to compare myself to others and I know I’m not supposed to be jealous, but I guess it’s human nature. These girls work their butts off, they deserve every bit of happiness and success, so don’t get me wrong…I love all of them and I am so happy for them, but let’s face it, I was green with envy. I’ve also been comparing myself to former classmates as my 20-year high school reunion is coming up. I guess I’m just in a period of self-reflection. I think I’ve just been going through the motions, especially these last few years. There was dad’s cancer…and then he died which really through me for a loop. I was in a fog for at least a year. And since January 2009, there’s been mom’s cancer battle. Sure, there’s been other stuff in there, but if I had to tell you what I’ve been doing for the last 20 years, it would be hard to say. I feel like I have nothing to show for it. I’ve never been married, I don’t have any kids…heck, I don’t even own a home. But on the other hand, I’ve also never been divorced, never had to worry that my kid was going to make the wrong choice, and I’ve never had my home taken away from me…ha! How’s that for putting a positive spin on things?

Back to that reminder I got this week. I found out that one of my friends’ parents split up after almost 40 years of marriage. Her dad, who had just weeks before toasted her and her husband on their one year wedding anniversary, had been cheating on her mom with a woman he met in a class. Her parents were both retired and they were supposed to be in their golden years, traveling and enjoying life. And then, POW! Life changed. My parents were divorced after 23 years of marriage…I was in college and it was painful, but thank God nothing like what my friend is going through. It was a reality check for me. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself for not making as much money, not living in a nice big house, not being married, not being able to travel. But I would much rather not have all those things then to have to go through what their family is going through right now.

I am going to try to remember that everyone has a cross to bear. No matter how lucky you think they might be, we all have terrible, traumatic events happen in our lives. And a big fancy house or a big fancy job won’t solve that. My heart goes out to my friend and her family. I can only imagine the pain and confusion they are feeling right now.

Mondayist Monday Ever

Monday Monday, can't trust that day...Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be…


Today was the Mondayist Monday I think I’ve ever had. I woke up feeling kind of puny, but didn’t quite know what was wrong. I went to work and in true Jennifer style, was very dramatic about how bad I felt. On the way to a meeting downtown with three co-workers, I stopped and grabbed an over the counter medicine. During the meeting, though, I started feeling really woozy and my lower back started hurting. I left the meeting, called my doctor and managed to get an appointment for an hour later. My co-workers dropped me off at a Car2Go, a Smart Car that City employees can use to get around town. I’ve used them tons of times, but this time the car didn’t start. So I was stuck in 100-degree temperature with a non-working vehicle. Cars2Go have a way to call customer service through the speakers of the car, so I did that to report it being broken down. After three calls that all got cut off – and being told by three different European men on the other end of the phone how to start a car – I finally just texted my co-workers. Luckily, they hadn’t gone too far and were able to come get me. I was drenched in sweat, feeling worse and felt like I might pass out at this point. We stopped for lunch on the way back to the office and one of the restaurant employees sprayed the back of my shirt with cleaner as she cleaned the booth behind me! Sheesh. I just laughed.


As the day wore on back at the office, it started to thunderstorm and I started to feel worse. I drank lots of water and took more of the OTC meds. I had missed my doctor’s appt because of the broken down SmartCar. Ugh. Then the power flickered…once, twice…and on the third time, my computer went down. Well, restarting an old PC that still has a floppy disk drive on it takes a good hour, so I tried to be patient. Tried to log on to my email from another computer to no avail. I pretty much wasn’t able to work. All the while, I’m trying to decide if I should drive to Urgent Care after work.


On my way home, I called my pharmacist friend and described my symptoms. She said I should get it checked out. That’s all I needed to hear. Also, sitting in a car made me feel worse than anything, so I braved the traffic and the rain and made my way to my favorite Urgent Care place. Ok, it’s the only one I’ve been to, but I still like it. They play kids movies in the lobby and in all the rooms, so it makes me feel better. Today it was Cars, one of my faves!



First I got to pee in a cup. Yay me. Then a few minutes later, the verdict: a kidney infection! “Twenty percent of women end up in the hospital, so I’d feel better if we gave you a shot before you leave,” said the doctor. In walks skinny male nurse who informs me that the shot has to go in my bum. Great. Not embarrassing at all, I thought. So as I watched Lightning McQueen and his pals from Radiator Springs, the nurse stuck me in the bum. Then there was 10 minutes of observation in case I had a bad reaction. This was a little worrisome to me, but fortunately, nothing happened. Then I went on my merry way with prescriptions in hand for antibiotics and pain killers.


Most of the time I don’t mind being single, but on Monday Mondays and times when I have to drive myself to Urgent Care and to the Pharmacy, it sucks. Oh well. Already feeling a tad better, except for my sore bum cheek. Make that two sore bum cheeks...I must have clenched. Ugh.

Worst Fear

Aside from surviving a tornado and being blown into a tree with my clothes stripped off, THIS is my worst fear! Dying alone and being eaten by cats! This one of the many reasons I will never have more than  one cat!

role model

So my nephew has four crazy aunts. No uncles, just aunts. Poor kid. For some reason, my family asked my nephew, "If all your aunts were in the lake drowning, which one would you save?" I wasn't there when they asked, but apparently he answered, without hesitation. He said, "My Aunt Jennifer." When  they asked him why, he said, "Because she's my role model."

That's about all anyone can ever hope for in life, right? To know that someone else looks up to you. Gulp.

Embrace Life

I wish we could really wrap our arms around our loved ones like this when they're in the midst of life's "crashes."

The Tuesday Discount Club

Nothing makes you feel old like the first official email about your 20-year high school reunion. Or so I thought. The email came last week, along with my 38^th birthday. I’ve always been a true believer in age is relative and have always embraced my inner child, but 38 has been hard to accept. It just sounds so much like 40. Ha. And my nephew, who is 15, is quick to remind me how close I am to 40. Still, I think I try to stay hip. I text, I tweet, I facebook, I’m still on MySpace. I listen to Lady Gaga – and love her stuff. I’ve played on a Wii. And I still got tons of Snoopy stuff for my birthday and loved it all!

But earlier this week, two things happened (in one day) that have never made me feel older in my life.  Tuesday after work my sister met me at a church where I will be taking official wedding photos Saturday so I could take some test shots. It’s my first wedding gig, so I want to be prepared. We had a good time, being silly while we took the practice shots. And the preacher couldn’t have been sweeter – he was quite the talker! At one point, he looked at my sister and asked me if she was my daughter! I just politely said, “No, she’s my baby sister.” In his defense, she is eight years younger and looks like she’s in her early 20s and can sometimes pass for a teenager, believe it or not. Ahhh, I remember when I used to be mistaken for being in my early 20s. Sigh. This has happened before and how do you get mad at a preacher, so I just went about my business.

Jill & I then went to dinner and stopped off at Ross to shop for clothes. She has lost 75 pounds in the last six months, so for the first time in awhile, we weren’t shopping in the same section. It was kind of depressing. It was one of those shopping trips where everything I tried on made me look like a Sumo wrestler. Bleh. I managed to find a couple of things to purchase, so we headed to the register. The cashier asked me if I found everything ok, then proceeded to ask me if I was a member of the Tuesday Discount Club. I slowly looked over at the window where the sign read, “Seniors 55 and up – 10% off on Tuesdays.” I looked back at the cashier and said, “Do I seriously look 55 or over?” Poor girl. She apologized and explained that one time she didn’t ask and the lady got mad, so I guess she thought potentially offending someone was better. Ugh. Somehow I got through the transaction without screaming at her, but told Jill I’d wait in the car. By the time she got there, I was bawling. In the past I probably would have let the cashier have it, but for some reason that night, it simply hurt my feelings. So two times in one day I was mistaken for being 20 years older than I really am.

Booking the Botox appointment next week.

We Had Him

I love Maya Angelou and in late April, I was lucky enough to hear her speak in person at my alma mater, West Texas A&M University in Canyon, Texas. I haven't blogged about the experience yet...I guess I'm waiting until I have time to perfect what I want to say. Angelou's words almost always move me to tears. The poem that she wrote memorializing Michael Jackson was no different. It reminded me how fragile life is and although written specifically for Michael Jackson, it made me think about my dad and my grandparents. We are all here on loan. I feel so lucky to have had my loved ones -- and for that matter, icons like Michael Jackson and Maya Angelou -- in my life, even if in a small way.

Here is the text of "We Had Him" and a video of Queen Latifah reading it at the memorial service:

We Had Him
by Dr. Maya Angelou

Beloveds, now we know that we know nothing,

now that our bright and shining star can slip away from our fingertips like a puff of summer wind.

Without notice, our dear love can escape our doting embrace.

Sing our songs among the stars and walk our dances across the face of the moon.

In the instant that Michael is gone, we know nothing.

No clocks can tell time.

No oceans can rush our tides with the abrupt absence of our treasure.

Though we are many, each of us is achingly alone, piercingly alone.

Only when we confess our confusion can we remember that he was a gift to us and we did have him.

He came to us from the creator, trailing creativity in abundance.

Despite the anguish, his life was sheathed in mother love, family love, and survived and did more than that.

He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style.

We had him whether we know who he was or did not know, he was ours and we were his.

We had him, beautiful, delighting our eyes.

His hat, aslant over his brow, and took a pose on his toes for all of us.

And we laughed and stomped our feet for him.

We were enchanted with his passion because he held nothing.

He gave us all he had been given.
Today in Tokyo, beneath the Eiffel Tower, in Ghana’s Black Star Square.

In Johannesburg and Pittsburgh, in Birmingham, Alabama, and Birmingham, England We are missing Michael.

But we do know we had him, and we are the world.

Shades of Gray

Today a good friend sent me an email trying to explain her political beliefs, which apparently lean to the extreme right. I’ve always tried to be open-minded and have never fallen to the extreme left or the extreme right of any issue. While I do fall more to the left than the right, to me, there are always circumstances to consider and I have a really hard time saying something is either black or white. Even things I am really passionate about are never black or white.

To quote the 1986 C. Thomas Howell movie Soul Man and the song Shades of Gray, “Today there is no black or white, only shades of gray.” That’s pretty much how I see the world and the issues we all face – in shades of gray. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around radical thoughts one way or the other. And frankly, radicals and conspiracy theorists scare me. A lot. For example, how can killing a man in a church because he is an abortion doctor be the right thing to do? If you oppose abortion and think that it is murder, how can murdering someone to prove your point be right? I don't get it.

Don’t get me wrong – I am all for questioning the status quo and ensuring that our leaders are on the best path for all of us. And sometimes I wish I could see things in black and white; it would make things easier. The Billy Joel lyrics below sum up how I feel:
“Shades of grey wherever I go
The more I find out the less that I know
Black and white is how it should be
But shades of grey are the colors I see.”

Change is Gonna Come

I had another dream about moving. I don't remember the details this time, other than hanging clothes in my new closet. I dreamt about moving just a few days ago and apparently dreaming about moving "signifies your desire or need for change" or that you seek independence or are ready to move on to something new. I've already mastered the being independent thing, so that can't be it. And I've had enough change in the last two years of my life to last a lifetime. But as they say, change is one of the things we can always count on. I'm not sure what changes are ahead, but I can't help but hum the great Sam Cooke song, "Change is Gonna Come."

my treadmill is so vain

So several months ago a group of us made the decision to walk in the March of Dimes March for Babies 5K. I’ve been trying to “train” for it since I am so out of shape. I’d do great for a week, then fall off, then walk once the next week, then fall off, then do great again the next week. No consistency. But at least I was trying. Suddenly, the race is upon us – it’s THIS Saturday! How did this happen?

Tonight I DID NOT want to go walk. But I did it. At five minutes in, I was ready to throw in the towel. And that’s when it happened: Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” came on shuffle on my iPod. I pictured my feet beating up the treadmill.

Before I knew it, the Bee Gees were on with “You Should Be Dancing.” I just pictured myself thin, fit and tan like Melissa Rycroft on Dancing With the Stars, dancing in a ball gown on the treadmill. I was graceful and fluid. Two things I never am.

Then my feet started hurting. “I feel the earth move under my feet,” Carole King belted out. I grinned at the irony and kept walking. Ok, that’s it, I thought…time to start winding down. Then Jon Bon Jovi belted out, “Ooh ooh livin’ on a prayer…” Who could stop during Bon Jovi? Just when I thought I couldn’t go any further, Stevie Nicks was there to help me out with “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around,” which of course made me think about my heart and how good walking was for it! Next, my future husband Lenny Kravitz stopped by to tell me he was ready for love with “Heaven Help.” On that note, I can stop, I thought. I can die a happy woman.

“Wheel in the Sky” came on next and we all know my love of all things Journey, plus I started singing “wheel of the treadmill keeps on turning…” and that made me giggle like a 12 year old.

Next up was Carly Simon with “You’re So Vain,” which I dedicated to the treadmill. I swear it looks at itself in the stupid gym mirrors while it’s tormenting me! Another Journey song, “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Hello! You can’t stop when like the best rock ballad ever is cheering you on!

No workout is complete without Prince, but when “Kiss” came on, I finally decided to slow it down and end my walk at 2.5 miles. Whew. I think I can finish the 5K on Saturday. Thank God for my iPod.

Hide-n-Seek

So tonight on my walk, I walked past three little boys playing hide-n-seek. They were having such a good time it brought a smile to my face. I started wondering why we don't play hide-n-seek after we grow up. Then it hit me...we do! Or at least it could be a really good excuse for why I still haven't found someone to spend my life with. He's probably just still playing hide-n-seek! How exactly did that game end again?

Duh...now what?

Duh. Weight discrimination is the only discrimination still allowed in this country. Don't get me started.

http://tinyurl.com/bigfatboss

Time Machines

“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.” ~ Jeremy Irons

I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing lately and wondering how the years have flown by so quickly. And man that makes me feel old! First there was the realization that my 20-year high school reunion will be next year. I realized this about the time a webpage was created for our class and when classmates from high school started coming out of the woodwork on facebook. I currently have 51 facebook friends who I knew in high school! Crazy.

Another event that took me back in time was the 70th anniversary of Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch & the 60th anniversary of Girlstown, USA. I spent some very formative years working at Cal Farley’s. I learned so much about the public relations field and participated in so many exciting things while there! I met celebrities like Dale Evans Rogers and Willie Nelson, pitched a story to People magazine and watched as it actually got published (!) and forged some very special, long-lasting relationships with some of the best people on earth. I always tell people that I think God plucked people from their corners of the earth and placed them at Cal Farley’s – the people who work there eat, breathe, and sleep the mission of providing homes for children. They are salt of the earth people and I love them dearly. When my invitation arrived in the mail for the 70th/60th anniversary celebrations, it stunned me. It seemed like just yesterday that I was working there and we planned the 60th/50th anniversaries! Ten years have flown by! The anniversary brought back some fond memories of all the fun events we had that year. I also remember being in a hotel room in Lubbock, getting ready to drive out to the Girlstown anniversary event on campus and hearing that John F. Kennedy Jr’s plane had gone down. I was able to meet up with some of my old buddies from Cal Farley’s when they celebrated the anniversary here in Austin at the Capitol…it was so nice to see them.

And the very next week, my alma mater, West Texas A&M University, held a 100th anniversary celebration here in Austin. I attended the event at the Bob Bullock State History Museum and ran into the former alumni director, aka Mr. WT, who was also my supervisor when I interned in the Communications dept. at the college. Saw a few other familiar faces and even met some new people. They did a great job highlighting the history of the school at the event, bravo to the planners! The event made me realize how much WT has changed since I left, ahem, 15 years ago. There’s now a fancy, new pedestrian mall, an entirely new fine arts bldg, and even a performance hall/arena! In fact, Dr. Maya Angelou is speaking in the new arena later this month! I’m hoping to make the trip up to Canyon to see her. It’ll be my first time on campus in at least eight years, maybe more.

And then there’s another anniversary looming…the second anniversary of my dad’s passing is Monday. At this very moment, I am holding up ok, but it’s always there in the back of my mind. We’re not doing anything formal, I guess we’re all just going to mark the event in our own ways. It seems like much, much longer since I saw my dad. I miss him every single day and still yearn to talk to him, to hug him. But most of the time, memories of my dad bring a huge smile to my face. He influenced my life so much that I literally think of him every day because I’ll say or do something he would have done, or I’ll hear a song he liked or whatever. I’m so lucky to have those memories.

In fact, I feel lucky to have all the memories I’ve talked about here. It’s the memories we have that will carry us through to the future. They help shape your hopes and dreams. I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I do have some dreams and I hope they come true. And if not, I’m sure that the adventure in trying to make them come true will be just as exciting.

cognitive drop-off

For about the last year, I’ve started noticing a pretty sharp decline in my short-term memory. I would crack jokes about it – oh, I’m just getting old, ha ha ha. But when my sister and I went on vacation late last year and she (the normally ditzy, forgetful one) had to repeat things over and over to me, I got worried. I’ve been to a couple of doctors trying to figure this out…so far, nothing. We’ve ruled out a lot of things, which I suppose I should be thankful for.

I just read that a new study says we start to lose cognitive abilities in our late 20s and our 30s. Specifically, this article says, “In addition to the cognitive drop-off, the team also found that average memory declines were detected by about age 37.” I turned 37 last Tuesday. This sucks.

Laugh if you will, but this cannot be as good as my brain gets, can it?!?!!? Come on, I have a lot more in there to contribute! It seems like all of a sudden I went from being young & able to not old, but getting there and declining! How did this happen? Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on things I should be doing. But the good news is that in a few weeks, I won’t remember what I missed!

It's a privilege

So I've been sort of in denial about turning 37 today. It just sounds way too close to 40. But I just read this quote that helped put things into perspective: "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."